The Fear Of Faith [2]

34. Cal

I absolutely, positively had never fucking hated myself more than at the very moment I had said those words to Bethan. I kept replaying the conversation over and over and over in my head and asking myself why the fucking fuck did I have to go and say such fucked up and disrespectful things to her. I had apologised but what was the word sorry after basically calling her a slut? I'd seen the pain in her eyes, worse than I'd ever seen it before.

I'd thought many times about calling her or possibly even heading to the dorms to talk to her but I knew it was thanksgiving and she had probably returned to The Falls for a few days to spend it with her family. I'd spent it alone in the apartment, sketching designs and catching up on work before drinking the rest of the day away.

I got right back to work on the Monday, still not feeling myself and a little worse from the headache I had with all the beer I'd drank that weekend. Why the fuck I'd even went to that damn club, I still didn't know and if I hadn't, maybe she'd be in a better place now and be talking to me. I'd made us jump a thousand steps back from where we'd already been and was losing all hope.

By Tuesday, I was feeling a little better but I still couldn't look at myself in the mirror. Wednesday, I'd woken up for the first time without a hangover so it was progress and by Thursday I'd managed to go a full night without waking up from dreams of her.

'Oh my god, the queue was like right out the door,' Tori complained as she entered the shop with our lunches.

'Probably because all of the students are back from thanksgiving break,' Charlie said.

'Oh yeah,' Tori replied. 'It's so quiet and peaceful everywhere when they're all gone. Why can't it stay that way?'

'Just bump 'em out of the way and head right to the front of the queue,' Charlie told her. 'When they see all the ink they're usually too scared to challenge you.'

'You do not do that!' Tori gasped. 'That's so mean.'

'Says queen bitch!' Charlie exclaimed.

'Yes but that's just cruel,' she told him, as she threw me my sandwich.

'That's why you're the one stood waiting in the queue for half an hour,' he said with a shrug.

'Would you guys just fuck already?' I cried. 'How long has this been going on? The sexual tension you clearly have is making you both irritate the shit out of me.'

'Ew, Cal, how can you say that?' Tori asked with a scowl as she sat in her chair and opened her sandwich box.

'I've known that she's dying to fuck me for a while,' Charlie laughed.

'Absolutely not, even if you were the last fucking human on the earth,' she replied.

'If I was the last human then you definitely would,' he teased.

'No, I would find myself a sex shop and steal a vibrator,' she said.

'And you say I'm mean,' he said, pulling open his burrito.

'You guys always do this,' I told them, sighing as I was disturbed from my sketches once more. 'Arguing and bickering when really, you're both just dying to get in each other's pants. Don't deny it, Charlie, you know it.'

'Hey, I'm not denying anything,' he said, winking to Tori. 'I'd go there.'

'Well, I wouldn't,' she replied. 'There's no sexual tension between us.'

'If you say so,' I said, rolling my eyes and turning around again.

'I'm kind of with someone now,' she said, making Charlie and I look up at her.