Episode 57: Saala Status

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"Life is not about making muffins but life is about sins...

"Is extramarital affair justified? But what if it is for a good cause? " Rohit tweeted.

His social media mood was distracted looking at Ana sleeping by his side in their honeymoon suite.  He was waiting for her to wake up. In the afternoon they were checking out to go back to their home.

Rohit was excited with his mom's message that she had cancelled the planned traditional rituals for the relatives after their legal wedding  for the next week.

Roh listened to some music and again began checking his messages. It was around 10 am. He was perplexed with the words on his screen:

" Congratulations, Rohit Mehra. Wish you a happy married life forever and ever. I hope you get clever and continue with your young wife. However, I am just a well-wisher. Don't stress about thinking who I am? But I am the one who always wanted Ana as my lover but destiny is so cruel to me and Ana is yours. "

Rohit rubbed his eyes and this message was from some anonymous number. He assumed it was Harry and replied back.

" Thank you, my fishy well-wisher ...  Stop thinking about fu**ing my wife. I know you are Harry Somani. Don't keep hitting on married women. Go get a life and search for someone better than Ana. She is my wife and she will be with me always. You need not have to teach me or give me Gyan (knowledge) I am 48 and I know how to handle relationships, better than you."

The man on the other end giggled and he further messaged:

" I think now I should hit on your ex-wife. Wait before abusing me, I am going to throw this sim card and don't message me back. Don't get a headache thinking who am I ...You make muffins and enjoy. There is nothing to do..." 

Rohit understood this man have definitely stalked his status and social media profiles.

The door bell rang and Rohit was surprised to get a greeting card from Abhimanyu with a box of Muffins, icing cones and a cake holder.

********************************

It was 11 am Ana woke up with Maa's call and Rohit was sitting with a sullen face smoking his cigar. Ana had missed her mother in law's call 5 times.

"What will be more dangerous than ignoring MIL? "

Ana dialled Maa.

"Satsriakaal Mummy Ji ... " 

Ana greeted Maa.

" Good morning Ananya. No need to speak in Punjabi and you are not good at it. Well, we are Punjabi's but we have a sophisticated background and we often speak English at home.   

"I called to say something you may not like...

"Today is not an auspicious day so I had to postpone the pooja ( worship) for your happy married life  to next week. As per your Kundli (Birth chart) you have some  Dosh (fault) and we are conducting some rituals today to get rid of those issues in your life. I want you both to stay in different places next four days as per the pandit Ji's suggestions. 

" Tomorrow, you have to keep a fast and I know you are pregnant so you can have some juices and milkshakes. 

I will send it to your apartment and please don't tell anything about this to Rohit Beta. He will be furious. Please understand that I am not torturing you like a vamp MIL... Listen Beta, I am elder to you..."

" Hah Maa, I know, you are our mom and will think for our good. I will definitely fast tomorrow and don't eat any non-veg  or drink." Ana disrupted Maa's words.

" How can you still drink Ana? You have to stop drinking and also stop smoking.

" Thank God, my granddaughters are like Poonam and please don't influence them with your modern attitude." Mom disconnected the phone and Ana cursed herself for speaking unethically with her mother in law. 

" Hi, Rohit! We are checking out from this suite in the afternoon, right ... " Ana caressed Roh's hair. He was lost in his world swirling on the swing.

" Hey man, you have a hair fall." Ana giggled. 

Rohit held her softly and smooched her.  He just wanted to cuddle with her but Ana rested her head on his lap.

She softly said:

Jee Le Apni Zindagi Rohana; 

Phir kuch din ki judai hein!

Ana ki bidai hein...

Aur Rohit Mehra ka apne patience se ladai hein 😆

Rohit was now wondering what was Ana saying? 

" Your mom gave me some rule book Rohit. I do believe in traditions and I am ready to fast for your long life. " Ana got up with a jump and was in Jhansi ki Rani mode.

"Now it is our Maa, honey. Be careful one part of me is inside you. "Rohit said softly holding her hand.

He was not in a mood to smile, yet he pretended to be calm.

"Maa,  judged me and something that I can't still tolerate is her comparison of me with Poonam. Poonam is an Indian Naari, she is traditional and she is a teetotaler Bla Bla Bla..." 

"She was a teetotaler until I divorced her." Rohit sighed.

"So you want a wife who only drink soft drinks and H20, Rohit Mehra.  Well I am the wrong choice then. " Ana was furious and tears rolled down her eyes.  She walked towards the wardrobe and began forcefully pulling out her clothes. She shut the door hard and ran inside the bathroom.

Rohit scratched his head and sat for a while in the balcony. 

He again updated his status on his friends book:

"What can a husband do to zip his tongue?Saala zyada bolta hein... " (Rogue,  speaks unnecessarily)

  JK  commented...

"Generally I don't comment on people or post openly. I believe in giving space and analysing things, rather than  adding bull shit comments but if you feel,  I can help. "

if you don't want to argue fill your mouth with water and don't gulp it down until she has finished. 🤗

Chew a mint gum until it lose its flavor and if she is still not done then chew another one 🙈

Still you want to argue then ginger can help you ❤

Thank you JK for your tips Gurri replied.  Rohit Mehra started laughing hard.  He thought Gurri needed them the most.

He often enjoyed with his two ever green Punjabi friends, they were his life line.

Rohit's thought process now took a roller coaster mode.

Ana had come out of the bathroom and she looked gorgeous.  She was smiling as if nothing happened before. She was wearing Rohit 's favourite top and on her seducing request,  he wore her favourite shirt.  The went to have lunch and posed for best pictures.  Rohit again updated his status :

"Happily married forever and ever. "

Poonam commented with heavy heart
"Congratulations Rohit.  Pray that you are happy forever. "

PC: Alt balaji fb page

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