Safe

-12- I Remember

Luke "Coach Mo" Morrison

We play Paramount in a few days. Our last game before Thanksgiving break. Paramount is a decent school, I wouldn't say a threat typically but they've had their moments over the years. Now that they have Ian though, I'm expecting them to put up more of a fight. Ian especially.

I doubt he'll slack if his competition is us.

I've got the boys scrimmaging, shoes squealing against the court, ball flying around. Drew smacks the ball out of Ryan's hand and they all go darting down the court but of course Holt has out thought them. He's already closing in on the three point line, no one from the other team down their to defend when Drew passes the ball to him. I don't even need to watch to know the layup Holt does sinks the ball through the net with ease.

I blow the whistle, Holt retrieving the ball. Drew hangs back to give him a high five as the rest of the guys come make a circle around me.

"Drew, Holt, good teamwork. However you do have other guys on your team." I tell them.

"None of them were in the right spot. Not my fault Holt's fast." Drew defends.

I can't disagree with him.

"Everyone needs to be thinking ahead, anticipating the other players moves. I know for my returning guys, last year Paramount was a decent team but not great. For those of you who haven't heard, they've got Ian now." I tell them. "And lets be honest with ourselves. Ian's going to bring it. Especially after everything that's happened."

"So basically Holt's his target." Justice comments. "If he takes Holt out we're basically fucked."

All the boys start up, some agreeing, some asking if Ian can even do that, some pissed that Justice implied the rest of them suck.

"Hey!" I shout, noticing Holt jump in his skin. "Watch your language. And no we aren't fucked."

Drew smiles at my language. "But we all need to keep an eye out." He says. "Ian's definitely going to try something at some point."

"I'm not too worried." I'm extremely worried but I don't want them to be. "There's rules that every player has to follow, you guys know that."

"Plus Ian's gonna have to catch Holt first." Ryan adds. "Last I knew he couldn't."

They erupt into noise again and I give them a minute to get it out of their systems. Holt remains as he has been, head down and quiet. I use my hands this time to ask them to quiet down. It's not nearly as effective as yelling at them but I don't make Holt jump.

"Listen, we all need to be watching out for one another. Not only on the court but off the court too. You guys are a team, a brotherhood. You have a bond here. And each one of you is essential to the team and each other."

"And we aren't gonna lose to that team jumping prick." Drew says as soon as I finish.  I shoot him a look to which he shrugs. "What I'm captain, don't I get to say a few words too?"

"Maybe not those words." I mutter.

But the rest of the team loves it, high-fiving each other and shouting and I can practically see the over abundance of testosterone leaking out of them.

                               ————————

Ava had gotten home from work just as I was heading over to see Ruby and Barry. I let myself in, the TV making noise from the living room.

"Get your pants on Barry!" I yell like I always do.

But he doesn't respond. I kick my shoes off, closing the door behind me as I venture farther into the house.

"Barry?!" I mute the tv, my heart starting to pound in my chest when I'm met with silence again. "Ruby!?"

I feel a pit open up in my stomach, my mind suddenly full of scenarios.

"Ruby!?" I call again.

"Luke!" Her voice is faint, coming from deeper in the house and I send my body in motion passing through the rooms in search of her.

"Ruby!" I'm a notch below frantic just like that.

"In the bathroom!"

I shove the door to the master bedroom open, the sound of Ruby wretching emanating from the bathroom that juts off the side.

Trying to calm myself, I suck in a breath and prepare myself as best I can for whatever lies behind the bathroom door.

"Are you okay?" I ask through the crack in the door. "Do you need help?"

She lets out a labored breath. "Is Barry back?"

"No just me. Where'd he go?" I'll kill him.

"Store."

I can't see anything through the crack and as much as I want to shove open the door I don't. Staying pressed against it until Ruby tells me otherwise.

"Luke?" She sounds defeated.

"I'm right here." I tell her. I'll always be.

"Will you help me?"

She should know that I will. That it's not even a question. "Yes."

"I-I just don't think I can stand right now." She says quietly, sad.

And that's all I need before I push through the door. My heart breaks at the sight of her a crumpled lump on the floor. Eyes rimmed red and tired, the color gone from her face.

I go to her, kneeling down as I gently gather her in my arms.

"I'm sorry Luke." She tells me.

"Don't apologize."

I lift her easily, taking her from the bathroom back to her bed where I lay her down softly.

"This isn't any fun." She whispers to me, tears fill in her eyes.

My mind flashes moments of Ruby off in my head. Bright and alive, laughing and electric. My heart aches and I reach out to brush one of her curls away from her face.

"I'm sorry." I wish I could do more than tell her that.

She leans into my palm that's come to rest on her face, her skin warm beneath mine.

"Do you remember all the fun we had?" She asks, eyes closed, voice low.

I take her in, the shape of her face that's become more angular the past month as all this begins to take a toll on her. Her lips that I've kissed a thousand times, that at one point were mine to kiss. Her rich skin that she passed down to Birdie. I love this woman. And seeing her like this kills me.

"Yeah, I remember."

Her hand finds mine, lacing between my fingers as she presses my palm closer to her face.

I remember the laughter and the mischief, the late nights running wild through the streets of whatever city we found ourselves in. I remember being defiant and angry, ready to fight the whole damn world. Every single person in it, except this beautiful, carefree, adventurous woman that had the ability to settle my turbulent thoughts.

I remember loving my best friend and creating life with her, a family.

And I remember not knowing how to love her right.

"You always made me feel safe." A tear escapes her closed lids.

My own vision blurs, a lump forming in my throat, threatening to block off my airways. "I'm sorry I can't keep you safe from this."

And that's the thing that terrifies me the most. There's not a damn thing I can do to save Ruby other than to sit there with the rest of everyone and hope for a miracle. Fingers crossed.

As if that actually does anything.

She lets out a sob and I pull her close.