Safe

-63- Safe

Holt Lincoln

"You got everything?" Drew blows into my room, excitement spilling off him.

I take a final sweep around, everything in its place as I lift my bag off the bed.

"I think." I say quietly.

"Let's roll then!" He thrusts his knuckles out toward me, a grin spread across his face. "This is going to be awesome."

I bump my knuckles against his, his excitement making me anxious.  He bounds out of my room but I can't quite get myself to follow. It's hard leaving the place that's been safe, a place I'm learning how to trust again, the place where I found a family.

But everyone thinks this will be good for me. And I'm trying really hard to push myself to do things that scare me. Plus Drew's been down while Jaelyn's been away exploring Europe.

It's only two weeks.

Releasing a strained breath, I leave my room, padding down the steps. The wall of photographs has expanded and I stop at the foot of the stairs for a moment to look at them. Seeing myself apart of a family is still weird. Sometimes I feel like I'm dreaming and when I wake up I'll still be in the basement with Austin waiting to take his anger out on me.

But these photos are proof that I'm not.

Mrs. Lincoln already has one of all of us, tucked into the corner of another picture frame even though it hasn't even been a week. Mr. Lincoln and I huddled around the hospital bed, Vida in her arms.

The front door opens, drawing my attention away from the photo. Mrs. Lincoln comes in, Vida in her arms, she smiles at me.

"Hey honey."

"Hi mom." Her smile widens.

"Vida needs her diaper changed." She comes to stand beside me, looking at the photograph of the four of us. She takes it from the frame pushing it toward me. "So you don't forget us while you're having fun with Drew."

There's a little apprehension in her voice even though her voice is light and teasing.

I accept the photo, not because I'm afraid I'll forget them in two weeks but so I can remind myself of what is real, what I have now, that I'm safe.

Tucking the photo safely into my bag, I let it slide to the floor saying "I can change her."

Mrs. Lincoln is still recovering, they've only been home for a few days. I've been trying to help as much as possible, repay her for everything she's done for me but also because I love Vida. And I promised her I'd take care of her.

"Are you sure? I know Drew's itching to go."

But I hold my arms out for Vida. "Yeah I'm sure."

She passes her off to me, little blue eyes wide as she waves her hands in the air.

"Hi Vida." I tell her quietly heading up the stairs to her room.

Her rooms next to mine, everything soft pink and white.

"Let's get you changed." I gently lay her down on the changing table, making sure I use the strap so that there's no way she can get hurt. "I'm going to miss you."

I go through the task of changing her diaper, making sure to do everything like Mrs. Lincoln showed me. As I do, I tell her of my uncertainty over the next two weeks. How I want to go but I'm also scared. That I wish I could just be normal.

We've planned everything, Skype chats with Dr. Aldrich twice a week like normal, a call at minimum once a day to Mr. and Mrs. Lincoln though if I'm being honest I'll probably call more. I feel like this trip is breaking rules, and it is but they're Austin's rules. It's hard convincing myself that those rules aren't real, that I don't have to follow them. It's left me with this compulsive need to tell the Lincoln's everything that I'm doing.

I button up the pink onesie that Vida's wearing, unbuckling the safety strap before I cradled her in my arms.

"I love you Vida."

Fixing one of the folds in her onesie, she finds my hand, fingers wrapping around my pinky. It makes me smile, like maybe she's trying to tell me she loves me back.

We go back downstairs, my bag gone from where I dropped it. I know everyone's outside waiting for me.  So I carefully slip my feet into my shoes and Vida and I step outside.

"Here bud, I'll take her." Mr. Lincoln says as I join everyone in the driveway.

I don't want to let her go.

But I've been stalling so I kiss her forehead before I let Mr. Lincoln take her from me.

"You boys are going to have so much fun." Mrs. Lincoln says. "And if you need anything, I'm just a phone call away. You too Drew."

She hugs Drew as he says "thanks".

"Make sure you take lots of pictures." She says as they part. "And drive carefully."

"We will." Drew reassures with a smile. "You ready?"

As ready as I'll ever be I guess. I stretch my hand down for Blue as I whistle. He greets me a moment later, a tug of war rope still in his mouth.

Mrs. Lincoln leans down to Blue, scratching behind his head as he looks at her with a grin on his face.

"You take good care of my boy, you hear Blue?" Blue's tongue licks the air. "Be a good boy."

And then she stands up, opening her arms up wide. She waits for me to come to her, something I appreciate because it gives me a moment to prepare myself for the hug. To tell myself that it's okay, that it's not going to hurt. I hug Mrs. Lincoln, having to bend down a little to her height.

"I love you so much Holt. And if you need me, night or day, all you need to do is call." She's says.

"We're so proud of you." Mr. Lincoln says. "And we'll be right here waiting for you."

I pull away from Mrs. Lincoln with a thundering heart, Blue whining at my feet.

"Now go be a kid, raise some hell and have some fun." Mr. Lincoln tells us.

Drew throws his fist in the air, a "hell yeah" belting into the air. I manage a smile, anticipation building inside me.

"We love you Holt."

I start for the Drew's car, he throws his arm around me for a moment in a sideways hug before he heads for the driver's side. Opening the passenger side, Blue jumps in, walking through Drew's Audi like he owns the place until he's made himself comfortable in the back seat. I look back at Mr. and Mrs. Lincoln and Vida, at my family.

Austin's still out there, he might always be.

But I think I'm finally starting to believe I'm safe. And it's all because of them.

"I love you too." I call back.

Climbing into the car, I close the door as Drew's Audi revs to life.

"Ready?" He asks with a mischievous smile on his face, bright and beaming with excitement.

I can't help but smile too.

"Let's do this."

                           —————————

And that's a wrap. So as I mentioned before the Epilogue will NOT be posted until after we finish Drew's second book Okay. As for when I'm going to start posting Drew's book, I have quite a bit started but not laid out. So I'm going to take the next week, maybe two, to get things laid out and some more done and then I'll start posting. So keep an eye out and when I am officially ready to start, I'll drop an update in the forms of an author's note in here.

Thank you guys as always for being amazing, voting, commenting and following me. I appreciate all of it! A little amazed we made it some 63 days straight. It got a little sketchy for a moment 😂.