Safe

-46- Boys

Hannah "Birdie" Morrison

Erin's waiting for me as I toss all my stuff in my gym bag. We all went to the church to play ball after school. Holt left early with his mom and I didn't want to ask Ty for a ride home which is why Erin is sitting in the parking lot blowing up my phone.

"See ya guys!" I shout but I'm already pushing through the doors.

"Birdie! Wait!" I groan quietly, this was exactly what I wanted to avoid.

"Hey Ty, what's up?" Flashing a smile, I hold the door for him.

He's still out of breath, sweat pooled on his skin. I watch him try to wiggle into his coat while he continues to stuff his things in his bag as we walk.

He laughs nervously, stealing glances at me. I'm hoping to make it to Erin's car before he actually gets settled.

"Hey, I was wondering.." Tripping on his untied shoelaces, he goes stumble down the hall. "Sorry, I was wondering if you want to go out, see a movie or something?"

Before I never would have over analyzed his request, agreeing because we were best friends and friends hang out. But I'm certain Ty wants us to be more and for a second I thought maybe I did too but ever since the night Barry died and I kissed him, I realized that's not at all what I want.

"Sorry can't." I tell him even though I have absolutely nothing going on once I get home.

"What about tomorrow?"

I shake my head, sweaty curls hitting me in the face. "Busy too."

"Are you mad at me or something?" He asks.

"No."

I can feel him staring at me but I keep my eyes focused on the exit sign slowly growing in the distance. My fingers wring around the strap of my bag nervously.

"Then what is going on?" Frustration seeps into his voice.

"Nothing."

He lets out a sigh, pulling me to a stop.  "Don't bullshit me Birdie."

I stare at the ground, shaking my head.

"What happened?" He presses. "Did I do something?"

I feel like I might cry. And I'm not exactly sure why. But I know that if I were to try to answer him my voice would come out distorted.

"I like you Birdie, like as more than just my best friend." I'm hiding behind my damp curls wishing I could just disappear when he tucks my hair behind my ear. "It sort of seemed like you might be into me too."

The gesture is so sweet, so gentle but I think I'm supposed to be feel something more. Isn't that how it's supposed to be? Shouldn't my heart dance in my chest and excited nerves trickle through my body.

Like it did with Holt.

I step back, away from Ty and his sweet gesture.

"I'm sorry Ty." But I can't look up at him. "I never should have kissed you that night. I was just upset, it-it didn't mean anything."

Sneaking a glance at him through my lashes, he looks crushed.

"It's Holt isn't it?" He asks.

Shaking my head instantly, I deny it. "No, no this has nothing to do with Holt."

He nods his head, looking away from but I watch his jaw muscles contract, his eyes hardening.

"It's me, okay. It's my fault." I insist.

I want to say I know Ty. That even if he's hurt he won't take it out on someone else. But I also feel the need to protect Holt. Just in case.

"I was upset that night and I never should have kissed you. I'm sorry." I say. "We're really good as friends Ty. Why ruin it?"

He snorts. "Yeah. Sure. Friends."

And then he shoves past me, leaving me standing in the hallway not feeling much like friends. Taking a deep breath, I feel my phone go off in my pocket. It's probably Erin but I check it anyway.

"I'm coming." I bark into the phone, stomping my way out to the parking lot.

The air is cold, the sky gray. It takes me just a moment to find Erin's car in the parking lot. As I reach the door she waves.

"Hey, I saw Ty storm out." I slam the door shut as she talks. "Everything okay?"

"It's fine." I don't feel fine.

And Erin can tell.

"What happened Birdie?" I look over at her, her blond hair in a long braid, her blue eyes concerned.

All of the tension drains from me though as I relax back into the seat.

"Boys happened." I roll my eyes.

She smiles. "Ty?"

Nodding my head Erin turns out of the parking space and we start our way home.

"I'm guessing you told him?"

"Yeah and you know what he did? He blamed Holt."

She scoffs, finding the whole thing as ridiculous as I do. "And they say we're the dramatic ones."

I laugh, rolling my head to the side to look at her. "I love you."

She gives me a mega watt smile. "I am quite possibly the best sister ever."

"Well let's not get too carried away." I tease her back.

She sticks her tongue out at me and I can't stop smiling.

"But I have to ask." She says after a minute. "Is Ty right?"

I shrug my shoulders but the idea of it being Holt who's standing in front of me in the hallway after a game of ball telling me he likes me, makes butterflies erupt in my stomach and an unstoppable smile spread across my face even though I try to hide it.

"I thought so."