Safe

-39- A Good Word

Holt Lincoln

Mrs. Lincoln dropped me off at Drew's, both of us a little overwhelmed at the sight his sprawling home.

He greeted me at the door and I followed him in awe.

"Alright so most everyone's showing up later." He tells me. "And no hard feelings if you want to bail then. I get it."

He glances over his shoulder at me as we pass a pool table and into a living room with a tree that makes Mrs. Lincoln's sister's look like nothing. There's presents still wrapped under the tree untouched.

"Want to play some games until the rest get here?" Drew asks but I'm still staring at the presents trying to figure out how it's days past Christmas and there's still there.

When I woke up on Christmas this year, quietly making my way downstairs to find Mr. and Mrs. Lincoln seated on the couch, sipping coffee while they watched a Christmas movie, stacks of presents under the tree I didn't know what to do. And then as Mrs. Lincoln pushed a stack to me, the labels had my name scribbled across them some reading from the Lincoln's, others from Santa, I was even more puzzled.

"Yeah." Drew chuckles, gesturing slightly at the presents. "Haven't gotten around to opening them yet."

"Why not?" The question falls out of me.

He shrugs. "I don't really need anything."

I watch him, catching the way his eyebrows have knit together, the slight deflate in his posture.

"I'll probably just donate it all." He adds. "But hey-." He grabs a box off the floor that's been opened. "My grandparents sent me this. I already have one. You want it?"

He pushes the brown box into my arms and I look down at its contents. "What is it?"

"It's a Switch. Basically a newer version of that ole relic your dad has." He tells me.

I can't get used to hearing people say that I have parents. That I have a mom and a dad.

"I-I can't." I start but Drew shakes his head.

"Really, keep it. Consider it a gift for getting adopted or for Christmas or whatever." He swings his body over the back of the couch, landing on the cushions lightly as he says "come on, I'll teach you how to play on mine."

————————

Most of the team showed up later along with Birdie and her sister Erin and her boyfriend. I was handling everything okay. Even managed to relax slightly in one of the chairs in the living room, smiling along as everyone laughs.

"Hey man." Ty says quietly beside me, leaning over the arm of the couch to get closer to the chair I'm in. "You got a minute?"

My heart starts to pound instantly as I nod my head. He stands from the couch, waving his hand slightly at me as he starts off through Drew's house.

It takes me a little longer to get myself up, my mind cycling through scenarios. If I need to be more alert than normal. He stops at a doorway, looking for me when I manage to stand up.

"Sorry." I mumble as I reach him.

Ty smiles. "No problem man."

And then I follow him to another room, a study of sorts. The walls lined with books and a desk in the center that looks like it's never been touched.

"Congrats." Ty breaks the silence as I take in the room. "On being adopted and all."

My eyes meet his warily. I know that's not what he wants to talk about. It never is.

"T-thanks."

I watch him stuff his hands in his jeans, his eyes wandering the room but I've lost interest in my surroundings. My focus is on him, trying to navigate whatever this is.

"So I uh...was wondering." He starts, leaning against the desk. "You and Birdie, are you guys like...you got a thing?"

A thing?

"You like her?" He asks.

I'm not sure how to answer.

"Why?"

He runs his hand over his dark hair, shrugging as he does. "Just wondering."

There isn't anything going on between Birdie and me. But I know that all the guys like her as more than a friend, to some degree at least. Ty having it the worst because she's definitely been isolating him recently. And I know that Birdie isn't just some girl. She's talented and intelligent, caring and empathetic. Beautiful. If I wasn't such a mess, maybe I'd have a crush on her too. I'd be like one of them.

But I'm not.

So I shake my head no, staring at the ground. "We're just friends."

"Yeah?" I nod my head. "Cool. So could I ask you a favor then?"

Once again I nod but his request makes me uneasy. I don't want to do favors for people. I want to mind my own business and stay out of the way. I've got enough going on in my own head, I don't need anything else.

"Could you like talk to her? About me?" He asks. "Like put in a good word for me. She isn't really talking to me anymore."

I don't want to. "Sure."

"Awesome man. You're the best." His face lights up with a smile. "And no rush, you know, just like whenever the time is right or something."

He leaves me in the study more confused than when I first walked in. I have no idea what that means or what a good word is. Birdie and I don't talk about things a lot. She talks, I listen. And occasionally she asks me something that I feel I owe her an answer too. But that's about it.

"Hey, everything okay?"

I jump a mile, stumbling backward slightly as I whip around at the sound of Birdie's voice.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you." She says softly.

My heart is slamming in my chest, my body trembling but I manage to stay rooted where I am, focusing on Birdie so that he stays just a whisper in my mind.

"It's oh-okay."

She takes a step farther into the room, her hands in the back pockets of the jeans she has on, the military green sweater she's wearing slipping off her shoulder exposing her collarbone.

"Are you okay? I saw you and Ty walk away together." She explains.

I completely get why Ty likes Birdie.

"Yeah, I'm good."

She smiles, her hazel eyes soft. "Come on then. We need to beat Drew before people start showing up."

She holds her hand out for me and I desperately want to be able to take it. For that simple gesture to not cause my skin to crawl and my stomach to turn and these horrible memories to surface in my mind but I know as soon as I feel her skin against mine they will.

So instead I stuff my hands in the pockets of my pants, trying to force a smile on my face to ease the fact that I'm not going to take her hand.

The smile I offer doesn't seem like enough so as I pass by her I tell her "sorry".

I wonder if at some point in my life I'll ever not feel the need to apologize for the mess that I am.

                               ————————

Alright, alright gees you guys stop twisting my arm. I'll tell you what I'm up too.

So obviously I'm still writing this story. But I'm also working on two separate stories. If you've kept up with my random mumblings the last few chapters you'll know that one is a short story like Drew. What you don't know is that it's featuring two characters from this saga of books I've recently written, like all the way back to Owen. Secondly Drew is getting a full book to go with his short 6.5 chapter book.