Lyrics and Love: Say Goodbye (A Jordan Knight Fanfiction)

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3 years later...

Jo is completely numb, she's cried for days. She isn't sure she has any tears left.

She is very wrong.

Walking into the funeral home, hand in hand, with her amazingly strong little girl breaks her heart all over again. And tears begin to fall again.

Jo and JJ are the only ones in the room. Left alone to say goodbye in privacy, before allowing other family members in. Jo cries harder, how is she supposed to do this without her husband. Their daughter needs him. Jo needs him. Over the last 8 years, Jo had come to really depend on Darren. He was such a wonderful father and husband. He took such good care of "his girls" as he'd called her and JJ. Life would definitely never be the same for either of them.

JJ walks to her father's casket, looks at the man who had loved and spoiled her every day of her short seven years, and begins to weep. "Goodbye Daddy. I'll miss you so much. I'll love you forever. Don't forget to watch over Mommy and me from Heaven, okay." She pulls a little stuffed puppy out of her jacket and sits it on his chest. She also puts her and his favorite picture of them together in with him. JJ then takes her seat in the front row.

Jo looks down at her beautiful husband, "Dare, how am I supposed to do this without you. You've been my rock all these years. I will always be thankful I had what little time we got together. I love you." Jo places the picture of Darren and JJ under his hand. She takes her seat next to her daughter, she holds her hand and they wait for the rest of the family to come on and say their goodbyes.

The funeral home fills up with their family and friends, all wanting to pay their respects to Darren. His colleagues and some students past and present. Even his ex wife Beth and their son, Derrek are there. Jo asks them to sit in the front with the family. Beth accepts her invitation gratefully.

Jo's father and mother are there. Her three brothers and their families are of course there. Presley sits next to Jo, his arm protectively around her. Cash sits next to JJ, holding her close to him. Hendrix is visibly upset, over the years he and Darren had become extremely close. Darren spent a lot of time with the twins. They were truly brothers.

The service is beautiful. Lots of friends and loved ones share memories and stories about Darren. It warms Jo's heart to hear how much her husband meant to so many people.

The family stands and everyone who wants to speak to them is given the opportunity to. Jo shakes so many hands and kisses so many cheeks that afternoon, she has no idea who all she's seen. They're all a blur.

Until a familiar voice says, "Oh Jo, I'm so sorry for your loss." He takes her hand and her eyes look up into those beautiful big brown eyes. "Jordan. Thank you." Tears well in her eyes. As her tears fall down her cheeks, he pulls her into a strong hug. "Oh God Jordan, how am I supposed to do this alone? My life, this life I've chosen, doesn't work without him." She sobs in his arms. He's at a loss of words. He has no idea how to comfort her. He knows her life will never be the same. He just says the only thing he can think of, "Jo, it'll be okay. You're one of the toughest girls I've ever known. I know you can do it, if not for you then for JJ, she's going to need her mom." He kisses her on the cheek and lets go of her.

Jordan turns and looks at JJ.

What a beautiful little girl, he thinks. "Hi JJ, I'm Jordan. I'm an old friend of your mom's." He puts his hand out, she looks at his hand and takes it. They shake hands. JJ looks up into his eyes, "Its nice to meet you Jordan." He tries his best to give her a warm smile. She's so brave, being so strong. Jordan can't stop looking at this little girl. Something about her eyes draw him in.

Donnie's voice makes Jordan look up. Breaking the eye contact he had shared with JJ. Jordan stands and moves down the line of family. Looking back at the little girl from time to time.

When Jon gets to Jo, he hugs her and gives her his condolences. He kneels in front of JJ, "Hey sweetie, I got you something." He takes a locket out of his jacket. "See this, it's got a picture of your daddy in it, you can wear it and keep him close to you always." He shows her the picture of Darren inside. She smiles and says thank you. Jon puts the necklace around her little neck and gives her a big hug. Jo grabs Jon's arm and pulls him in for another hug, "Thank you Jon. Really, thank you so much."

Days have passed since the funeral, Jordan can't stop thinking about Jo. He knows he shouldn't be thinking about her like he is, she just lost her husband. But he wants to talk to her. To see her again.

Jo recieves a letter in the mail, no name just a return address. Inside is a single piece of paper, ripped off from another sheet. All it said was:

"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies
Fairy tales of yesterday, grow but never die
I can fly, my friends

The show must go on
The show must go on
I'll face it with a grin
I'm never giving in
On with the show"

Jo immediately knows who it's from. She smiles. He remembers. It's all about the lyrics. And he knows how much Queen lyrics will mean to her. This is probably the first real smile she's had in weeks.

She pulls out a sheet of paper, she has the perfect lyrics to send back. But she can't pick one verse...

"Hello there my old friend
Not so long ago it was till the end
We played outside in the pourin' rain
On our way up the road we started over again

You're livin' out dreams of you on top
My mind is achin' oh lord it won't stop
That's how it happened livin' life by the drop

Up and down that road in our worn out shoes
Talkin' 'bout good things and singin' the blues
You went your way and I stayed behind
We both knew it was just a matter or time

You're livin' out dreams of you on top
My mind is achin' oh lord it won't stop
That's how it happened life by the drop

No waste of time we're allowed today
Churnin' up the past, there's no easier way
Times been between us, a means to an end
God its good to be here walkin' together my friend"

Jordan gets her note and smiles as soon as he sees the return address. He opens his letter, it's nothing but lyrics. He picks up the phone and decides to call the number he had for her from years before. Almost positive it won't be a good number anymore. But he had to try.

To his surprise she answers. He still recognizes her voice. "Hello."

"Hey Jo, it's Jordan."

"Hey Jordan. How are you?"

"I'm good. I wanted to call and check on you."

"Thank you Jordan. That's really sweet of you. But you really don't have to worry about me. I'm going to be fine. I don't really have a choice, I've got my daughter to think about. Things are slowly getting back to normal. Little by little. Thank you so much for coming to the funeral. It was good seeing you, all of you."

"Jo, you amaze me, you are so strong. Your little girl is so lucky to have you as a mom. She seems like she's a lot like you. Strong and brave. And beautiful. How old is she?"

"She's seven now. I don't feel like she should be seven already. And yes, she is very strong and brave. When I told her about the accident, she cried and was very sad. But she tried to comfort me. She tried to make sure I was okay. It broke my heart. That's why I have to be okay. She has to know I'm okay and that she doesn't have to worry about me. God, she reminds me of Presley so much. She's so protective."

They both laughed at this comment.