Lyrics and Love: Say Goodbye (A Jordan Knight Fanfiction)

31

Back in Boston, Jo and Jordan have almost completed the recording of their song. Things are moving along much faster than they expected. They're way ahead of schedule, due to the fact that they work so well together in getting the song written.

Now, recording the vocals is going really well. After just two days they're done and the song is being edited to add the vocals to the music. Once that's done, they'll go in and do the finishing touches on their duet.

Jo can't wait to hear the song in its entirety.

They're meeting up at Jo's hotel before dinner tonight. Her plan is to talk to Jordan about JJ then.

Jo's looking through her photo albums while she waits for Jordan. Looking at all the pictures of JJ and Darren as JJ grew up. It should have been obvious over the years, but it wasn't, not until that night that Jon stared at her at the awards show. That was the first night she was forced to really consider the truth about her daughter.

Jo's pulled out of her memories by a knock on her door. Butterflies erupt into flight in her stomach as she stands to answer the door.

"Hello beautiful! You ready for dinner?"

Jo knows she has to have her talk with him now, she can't wait, but she knows he's hungry. "I was thinking we could stay in and order room service. We really need to talk."

"Okay, that's fine. Is everything okay?"

"Let's order our food first and then we'll get into it."

He frowns as she hands him the room service menu. After they order their food, Jo pours them each a whiskey and they sit down on the couch.

She just sits there trying to calm her nerves. "This is really hard for me to say Jordan. But I'm just going to say it, then I'll explain everything else after. I am pretty sure that you are JJ's father."

Jordan doesn't say anything so she continues. "When I first found out I was pregnant I knew it was a possibility. But you and I always used condoms. Well I thought I must have gotten pregnant that weekend Darren came to London. He and I didn't use any protection. So that was how I determined I was pregnant by him. That was why I left the tour so suddenly, I found out I was pregnant and first thought was its Darren's. So I went home and told him. He asked me to marry him immediately and I did. That was that. Then one day when JJ was around three or four, I was putting all my photos into albums. It was the first time I'd looked at our pictures from Scotland. That's when I first saw it, looking at your pictures, your eyes, were her eyes. I hadn't really noticed it before. I said something to Darren about it but he didn't want to hear any of it. He loved her, he was her father. He refused to believe she could possibly be yours, she was his."

Jordan finally speaks, "I can understand that."

That's all he says. So Jo goes on. "I decided to just leave it alone. He would never agree to a paternity test. And how would telling you be fair to anyone? You'd find out about a child that adored the father she already had, Darren would have to share the daughter he had raised her whole life. But worst of all, JJ would be hurt and confused. So I kept quiet. Then we saw you at the Awards show. You barely looked at her, but Jon...Jon stared at her, like he knew. My brothers always thought they knew. And it confirmed their suspicions when you came to the funeral. I was still surprised you didn't see the resemblance."

Jordan looks at Jo, "I didn't realize I was supposed to be looking for it. At the funeral I was just trying to be a good friend to you."

"Jordan, I'm so sorry for springing this on you now. It just didn't become clear to me until I saw you with JJ playing the piano together. Looking into my daughter's eyes, is like looking into yours."

"Why are you telling me this now? So I'll know, so I'll have the knowledge that I've got a daughter I can never call my own? A daughter who will never know the truth of who I am?"

"No Jordan, I would never do that. I'd never give you this knowledge and then keep you away from her. Presley brought up how hard life is for a little girl growing up without a father. And we have the opportunity to keep that from happening to JJ. I'm telling you because it's what's best for her. Everything I've done since the day I found out I was pregnant was for her. I've thought of her first every day since I found out about her. I gave up what was best for me for what was best for her."

"What do you mean?"

"Oh my God Jordan, I was in love with you. Leaving you, to marry who I believed was the father of my child, was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. It took me forever to get over you."

"Sure Jo. I find that hard to believe. You left without ever looking back."

Jo laughs, his comment cuts her deep. "I named her after you, you asshole. Don't tell me I wasn't in pain over leaving you." Jo stands up and leaves the room. It hurt her to hear him doubt her feelings for him.

She's sitting on the edge of her bed, photo album in her hands, when he walks in.

Jordan sits next to her, he looks over to see what she's looking at. It was the old pictures of them on tour and them in Scotland. "I bet you got pregnant in Scotland. That morning I woke you up in that special way you liked, I didn't want to risk waking you up to get a condom, so I didn't. I planned on pulling out, but when the time came I was selfish and didn't."

She smiles at the memory of their love making in Scotland. She remembers it like it was yesterday. She remembers everyday she has ever spent with Jordan.

"So what does JJ stand for?"

"Jordyn James. Named after you and dad. The two most important men ever in my life."

"Darren didn't mind you naming her Jordyn?"

"He didn't like it at first, but he also knew there was no point arguing about it."

Jordan turns to her, he wipes away a tear that ran down her cheek. "I'm sorry for doubting your feelings for me. So what do we do now? What do you want from me?"

"I don't want anything from you. I want you to be a part of our daughter's life. I want to tell her the truth. I want you to be her father, if you want to be. I'm going to talk to her when I get home from Boston. The rest is up to you."

They're interrupted by the sound of someone knocking on the door

Their food arrives and they move back into the dining area to eat. The mood lightens and they eat and discuss how they'd like to see things turn out. They both want him to step in and be JJ's father.

It's decided that when Jo gets home she'll talk to JJ. She'll tell her, then Jordan will come over to see her. And they'd go from there.

"What about us Jo? What would you like to happen with us? Just two friends with a kid? Because one thing I know for sure, is how easy it would be to let go and fall back in love with you. To stop holding back, and just be with you."

Jo's surprised by his comments. "I don't know what to say. Or to think. Over the last month I've felt the same way about you. I've felt like I was holding back with you. But I'd like to talk to JJ before we decided anything. But plain and simple, I want you to be a part of our lives."

Jordan and Jo spend the next two days working on their song during the day and making love at night before falling asleep in each other's arms.