Tik Tok Boys Imagines and Oneshots ✔️

Song-Based Oneshot•Noen Eubanks•A Song About Being Sad

Requested by Zrktzrkt

Summary: Noen was in love with the Ashlyn, who was also on the Lights Out tour. She didn't see him like he saw her and, slowly, Noen convinced himself to fall out of love with her.

Noen POV
Always felt like I needed to please her, or impress her
Though only in the hope that one day I would undress her

   Ashlyn was a human from a different planet. She wasn't different from everyone else in the sense that she was better than us. It was more of nobody else could compare to her.
   I was in love with her, but she was so different from me that I felt I needed to change, be better to be with her. I had dreams where I'd be more like Jaden, or more like Anthony, or Chase, and that I'd be dating her because I wasn't me and I was good enough for her if I was someone else. Those dreams killed me because I knew they wouldn't ever be close to happening. I'd never get to love Ashlyn like that or show her how I love her.
   And she would never accept me the way I am.

Don't be offended
You think I'm 'bout to tell you that "I love you"
But I really, really, really f****** don't

   Over time, I convinced myself to stop thinking about her. It wouldn't happen, and I was just waiting my time when I thought about her because there are so many other people out there.
   Those months before tour that I'd had an online crush on her through the time on tour we'd known each other, I'd loved her. But now, a few days after the second phase of tour was over, I had convinced myself to look at other people. I did. It worked.
   But then Ashlyn had texted me, saying she was out in LA and wanted to meet up. We went to this little restaurant. She was dressed up all nice like she normally was, but she was looking at me differently. Ashlyn kept touching my arm, or my hand, giggled at something I'd say even though we were just making small talk. It bothered me. Eventually, Ashlyn's happy demeanor changed after me ignoring her weird touches. She looked mad, but didn't mention anything.
   As we were walking outside, she stopped me by placing a hand on my arm.
   "I just wanted to tell you, Noen," Ashlyn said suddenly. "I really like you. Maybe we can go out on another date sometime."
   This caught me off guard. "That wasn't a date."
   "Excuse me?" she scoffed.
   "We were just catching up. I-I don't like you like that. I'm sorry," I said, looking around to make sure nobody was staring.

See the months of obsession
And crying for hours
I even started sitting down in the shower, girl

   "Why not?" Ashlyn asked.
   I sighed, remembering everything it took to fall out of love with her. "For months," I began, "I was obsessed with you. You didn't notice me, and I knew you wouldn't like me how I liked you. After tour, I stopped feeling that way for you. I knew it wouldn't happen, so I convinced myself to stop thinking about you and focus on other people, other things. It worked, but it was really hard. I cried over it, I sat around just thinking blank thoughts because it was the only way a memory of you wouldn't come to my head. But eventually, I got over you."
   "So months of obsession with me won't get you to come to me now?" Ashlyn asks, clearly offended. "Why won't you love me?"

I'll take my time on my own
And I'll be fine now I'm alone

   I shook my head, stepping back from her to give me space. "Because I don't need someone. I don't need your acceptance to be happy. I'm doing perfectly fine without you, so why would I ruin that for something I know won't make me happy anymore?"

Constantly told stories with a stretch of the truth
Trying hard to make memories to remember from youth
  
   "But you were obsessed with me!" Ashlyn said, shoving me hard, but not hard enough for me to move. "You said it yourself, Noen. I don't get what you must of had to do to get over that. I don't get what you had to do to get over me."
   "A lot. I had to do a lot. I had to lie to my friends, telling them that when I was dazed out, I was thinking of someone. I never told them it was you." I shook my head again, trying to remove those thoughts. "I had to tell them I just had a memory pop into my head. I did everything to avoid letting people know. But now, I don't have to do that because it's over. I'm done thinking about you like that, and I have been for a while."

Desperately wanting you to be interested too
It's not clear what I need yet
But it's clear it's not you

   "I wanted you to notice me so bad that it hurt. It hurt loving you," I told her. "I know that I don't need you now. I'm fine on my own. I don't need you, and I don't want you. Not like that."
   "You don't want me. Ridiculous," Ashlyn scoffed out. "There are other people who would be lucky to have me."

Here's what I'd say to any young man that's still interested in you

   "You might think that, they might think that, but you are so chaotic. Nobody would be lucky to have a monstrosity of chaos waltz into their life," I told her angrily. Her jealousness and disbelief were appalling.

Do you prioritise the things in your life
The things that you hope to do
Cause if not, then
Mate, you'd better trust me when I tell you that
It's not worth forgetting about yourself
Because of one f****** girl

   "And why would you think that? Why?" Ashlyn asked, crossing her arms. "What guy wouldn't be lucky to have me?"
   "Why would someone want you like that?" I ran my hand through my hair, then put my hands on my hips. "Why would any man want you? You put yourself above every other person and devalue them for who they really are. People have priorities, they hav goals, and you certainly should not be filling in any of those for anyone."
   "Excuse me? I'm not like that." Ashlyn crossed her arms over her chest in a dramatic attention-seeking flare. I ignore her gesture and go on.
   "I hope nobody went through what I did with you. It wasn't worth it. Loving you wasn't worth forgetting about me. I lost myself trying to get to you. I hope nobody else has to go through that."

She may seem perfect, and gorgeous, and lovely
You'll think she likes you
I mean I thought she loved me, no

   "I don't get why you think all these things are so wrong with me!" Ashlyn exclaimed. "I'm a good person."
   "No, you aren't."
   "I am. I really am, and I don't get why you don't see that. I'm good-looking and nice and half the men in LA would date me. You are ignorant, Noen. Real darn ignorant. I'm right in front of you when other men would be begging me to notice them, but you just ignore what you could have."
   "I was one of those men, once," I told her. "I thought you were all I needed. But you weren't, and you still aren't. I thought you might like me one day, but you never did. It was a waste of my time and energy trying to get you. I thought one day you could love me, but I knew that would never happen."

But no
Neither of us will get down from the shelf
The only one she loves is herself

   "I'm a good person. You should be lucky that I'm trying to convince you to like me." Ashlyn shook her head. "Ridiculous," she murmured.
   "You never loved me, so why would I believe it when you say that I should like you? You put yourself at some level that none of us can reach, and you make people like me think that if I climbed hard enough, I could get there one day. Your level was so high that I fell off my climb for you."
   "Ridiculous, Noen. You are wasting a good opportunity, and I'm sorry for you." She turned and walked away. I just sighed and walked to my vehicle.