Chapter 35:Katya

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Katya's POV
"Kim, Aja I'm sorry that you are always stuck getting me ready." Kim hugged me and smiled.

"It is okay, we enjoy you and your company babe."

"Plus, you are much easier to dress and put in makeup than your girlfriend." Aja laughed as she let my hair down.

"Yeah, she can be a bit...well?"

"Moody?"

"I didn't say anything like that." Kim laughed as she playful pushed me.

"Don't worry Katya, we won't tell." Kim set out all of her products on a stand while Aja did the same.

"So sis what does the dress look like?"

"Oh, I'll go get it." I walked upstairs into Trixie's room. I opened the closet and pulled out the black dress that Trixie and I picked together. It was a short dress with the straps hanging a little lower. Trixie and I spent hours trying to find the right dress to go nicely with hers. I tried telling her that a yellow and pink floral dress wasn't the easiest to match with. So she decided to wear a pastel pink dress that looked similar to mine. She was wearing white heels tonight and I decided to wear red. I walked back downstairs and held up the dress for Kim and Aja to see.

"That dress is lovely Katya.

"Did Trixie pick it sis?"

"We both did, why?"

"Because it will show your tits and legs." Aja covered her mouth to hold in her laugh. Kim pushed her as she shook her head.

"Aja, stop that."

"Alright alright, but one more thing. Try not to fuck in front of everyone."

"Ugh, can we just please get started here so we can leave?"

"Yeah, let's get started." I sat down so Kim could start my makeup and Aja could start on my hair. I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous about the party. I knew that Trixie would be there for me the whole night, but I was still nervous. I smiled as I played with the necklace around my neck. A tiny black butterfly that Trixie had gotten me about three weeks after we had started dating. When I was having an anxiety attack or something, I played with it. It was stupid but for some reason I felt safe when I touched it, like I had somewhere safe to land when I fell. My mind drifted to the night five months ago, in the downstairs bathroom. The night she gave me the black butterfly.

It was about 4 in the morning, and I couldn't sleep. No matter how hard I tried, it just wasn't working. My brain was going into overdrive and my thoughts felt as if they were attacking me. I could feel an anxiety attack starting because I felt so out of place. So wrong in Trixie's perfect world. I didn't want to let Trixie down. She seemed so excited about everything and I didn't want to ruin it. I had a way of taking the most beautiful things and just breaking it. I didn't want to do that to Trixie, I couldn't do that. She had her life so together. The emotions that I had been ignoring were coming to a boil. I tried to calm my breathing as I moved Trixie's arm and her head off of me. I slipped from under her and rushed out of the bedroom. I ran down the stairs and straight to the bathroom. My knees went weak as I began to cry. What was I doing here? Why was I here? I didn't belong here, so why was I here? My tears began and they just wouldn't stop. My brain was screaming at me, my thoughts were screaming at me and I couldn't do anything to stop it. The emotions I had been feeling almost all my life were just filling my head with pain, with no sign of letting up. I didn't want to ruin Trixie's life like I ruined my mother's and my father's or almost every other person that has known me. The screaming thoughts in my head went silent when I heard a knock at the door and Trixie's soft and tender voice on the other side. "Katya, baby? Are you okay?"

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