Chapter 4

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The moment I couldn't bare to myself just knowing I have slept with him more than once. I felt like some crushed puppy just being here with him in his arms.

I need to get a grip on life by recognizing he doesn't belong to me and will never have my fucking heart.

Get a grip Anya!

He woke up seeing me dressing myself to hurry myself to get home since I have been missing some nights at home. He whispered to me asking me if I'm good.

I stood there just thinking about that question like some idiot, I couldn't stand my ground anymore where I rushed myself to the bathroom puking my guts like some idiot again.

No I can't be.

After a few times.

Get a grip, Anya.

"Are you pregnant?" He asked.

"No." I chuckled.

"Don't lie to me." He looks serious but how could I know when I don't have any idea to prove if I am or not.

"There are tests in the drawer." He says, within that moment I was curious why he has pregnancy tests for unless he is sleeping with more than one person.

?

The question mark in my mind was really about the tests in the drawer. How could this man have all these tests in one drawer unless something is up.

"So I am not the only one you are sleeping with?" I asked.

"Anya, this is not the time to talk about the people I have slept with but you need to take one of those damn tests to prove to me that you are not pregnant." He says.

"Why are you worried about me being pregnant?" I couldn't believe he is worried about a baby but not telling me how many people he has slept with.

"Please,just tell me how many people you have slept with?" I just want to know.

"Not your business." He was angry so I kicked him out of the bathroom taking the test waiting on the answer.

I looked at the test seeing the two lines glowing towards my eyes. Here I am sitting on the toilet as the two red lines glowing towards me like the world clashes with the sun collapsing.

No !

It can't be!

Take another one now and another one until they've said something negative.

I took another one waiting for the answer to be one line but a few minutes shows a lifetime of terror again.

"What does it say?" He asks but I don't know what to say to him other than pass him the test while I lock myself in the bathroom.

"Fuck!" He shouted and I can hear he is throwing items towards the bathroom door and all I can do is cry and curl up.

"Anya, please come out." He pleads.

"You are angry." I am wiping my tears from my face but he tells me that he will not hurt me but it's upsetting to know he will become a father which is he is not ready but from all these tests in the drawer, he looked like he wants a child.

"Please don't hurt me." I slowly walked out of the bathroom. I walked towards him watching his pale face. He faced me angrily but I was afraid of what he might do.

"Go home." He says.

"But .." I remember he was the one who took me with his car while mine was at home. I thought we could talk about the baby but it looks like he doesn't care.

"But what?" He stared at me.

"Nothing." I picked up my stuff leaving his place. I called Molly to come get me but she didn't answer so I started walking and crying along the way until this man told me I am too pretty to cry.

I couldn't stop myself from crying until I saw a black car pulling up. I was wondering who that could be until he stretched his hand towards me. I looked up seeing it was Noah helping me out to drop me off. Once he drove me back home, he and I haven't spoken let alone he was not at home leaving me to grow this child inside of me.

I did not have the power to tell his parents that I am carrying their son's child so I thought it would be best to let him tell them but I guess that never was brought up.

One day she asked me how I am so big like this. I told her I am three months pregnant with her son's ch... the image I was thinking about but she never asked me anything other than make sure her dress is stiff enough for her to wear for tonight's gala.

The image of her asking me why I got big was never going to be true other than some other reality, " a false reality." I wanted to call Noah to tell him he is a coward but I didn't because I felt weak and powerless.

It has been a month since I have not seen Noah. There was a pit inside my belly and this dryness in my throat telling me I have been afraid.

His parents will become grandparents so why am I acting scared to tell them?

Until him ....

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