"Should we practice it?" tanong ni Conrad na parang hindi man lang naiilang. Meanwhile, I keep on fidgeting my fingers.
"A-Ah, okay!"
Conrad looks amused. "Am I really going to be your first kiss hmm?"
Tumango ako. I slightly felt a little sad. I just don't know why. Lumapit si Conrad at marahang hinawakan ang magkabilang braso ko.
"Chill, Zia. As if we didn't do this kind of scene before. The only difference is that our lips will touch this time," sabi niya in a work like manner.
Tama siya. Ang musicals namin noon at mga ganitong scene and this is work. Di dapat ako mag-inarte. I need to be professional. Matagal ko ng alam na may ganitong scene at dapat pinaghandaan ko na ito. I'm lucky that si Conrad ang kasama ko at hindi ibang tao. I feel comfortable around him.
"Okay," I said with determination. "Let's practice first our.. approach?"
"Okay. Sa scene magkahawak ang kamay natin," then Conrad reached for my hand,"We are going to look at each other's eyes and kiss.."
We moved accordingly to what is written. Sinubukan naming gawing natural ang kilos. We also tried our position during the kiss.
"Hahawakan kita sa likod," sabi ni Conrad at nilagay ang kamay doon. Sinubukan kong ayusin ng konti ang posisyon ko. I put my other hand on his arm.
"Gaano katagal yung scene?"
He shrugged," I don't know. Basta hanggang sa magbitiw ata tayo. Let's try to make it seem natural, okay?"
After practicing our movements a few times, ngayon ay susubukan na namin ang halik. Pati ang pag-anggulo namin ng ulo ay inensayo namin.
"Ready?" tanong niya.
"Yup.."
Parang tumatambol ang puso ko sa aking dibdib. This is my first kiss! Will I feel butterflies in my stomach kagaya sa mga nabasa ko noon? Would things be awkward between us after the kiss? O balik lang agad sa dati, kunwari ay walang nangyare?
Kinalma ko ang sarili ko at tumigil muna sa pag-iisip ng kung ano-ano. I stepped back and counted one to three para masimulan iyon. Conrad slowly held my hand and tugged me towards him. Pati ang ekspresyon na nararapat as eksena ay pinakita na rin namin.
Nang palapit na ang mukha niya sa akin ay ipinikit ko na ang mga mata ko. My hand started to move to his arm. Sa loob-loob ko ay kabado ako. My first kiss!
When Conrad's lips met mine, I felt nothing but nervousness. Kabado ako dahil baka hindi niya magustuhan, baka ulitin namin ito hanggang sa maperpekto namin.
Then, my mind is suddenly clouded by what ifs. What if Fire is the one kissing me right now? What if he would claim my lips with the same aggressiveness that I usually dreamed of? Kahit sa panaginip lang lahat ng iyon, my body responded like it's real. Hindi ko alam na posible kong maramdaman ang ganong bagay sa isang panaginip.
Sa kalagitnaan ng halik ay napaisip ako kung igagalaw ko na ba ang mga labi ko. Based on the movies and books that I have read, gumagalaw iyon, eh! I am such a noob sa ganitong bagay. Wala tuloy akong ibang naisip gawin kundi bumitaw.
When I think it's time to pull away from the kiss, Conrad held my back and pushed me towards him. Mariin akong napakapit sa kanya. Maybe it's not enough. Hindi pa perpekto ang naunang halik.
His other hand held my waist at nilapit niya pa ang sarili niya sa akin. He shifted his head at napasunod naman ako. When I felt his tongue trying to seek entrance in my mouth, I pulled away. Nabigla ako at nakaramdam uli ng pagkataranta. Hinihingal akong nag-iwas ng tingin sa kanya. We are both catching our breath. Napapikit ako. I suddenly felt bad.
