Angel | BTS ✓

Chapter 33

You stare blankly at what's in front of you, tears rolling down your face.

Yet again, you're reading the comments on your new music video, "Danger," searching for any new ones from what you've already read. At this point, the hate comments regarding you and your "worthlessness" have about a 50/50 chance of showing up. In the fandom, half of them love you, and the other half... well.. don't.

Like a moth drawn to a flame, depression has returned to you rather quickly. You've gone back to your old habits, and even came really close to cutting again before you remembered Taehyung's reaction the last time it happened. After that, you don't think you can ever bear to see it again.

It isn't anything new, though. Being depressed and all. As those invasive thoughts would pop up and the voice would whisper cruel things in your head, the pain sort of fades. It's odd, because you aren't necessarily happy or you don't exactly feel any better, but you almost feel... empty. Like you're only going on for...

'Them. For them. For him... my father.'

In times like these, you try to remember what he said to you that day. It really is the only thing that keeps you going...

"(Y/N)! Check out this new song I wrote!" A dimpled boy suddenly exclaims as he bursts into your room. Broken out of your thoughts, you jump half a mile out of your seat, making sure to close the tab on your computer where you were reading the 50/50 comments. You also make sure to wipe your tears as fast as possible, hoping the leader won't notice.

"Hm? You wrote another one? Geez, your quick, Joonie," you giggle, putting on a cute smile. Unnoticed by you, said boy blushes harshly at what you had called him.

Namjoon doesn't want to admit it, but he has developed a small crush on you, and he has ever since you helped him with the lyrics on "No More Dream" that one day so many months ago. Now it's August of 2014, and he's still crushing harder than ever.

Excited and proud of what he's wrote, he grabs you by the wrist and pulls you on the bed. You yelp, but then laugh straight afterward. Shoving the notebook to you, Namjoon can't contain his smile. Normally, he's a lot calmer than this, but he's created something he's extremely proud of. Not only that, but his heart always seems to beat a little faster around you.

"Okay, okay! I'm reading it now..." you chuckle after he gave you the notebook. It's just a random old notebook that he probably had laying around from at least four years ago, but the words inside of it are probably poetic and meaningful compared to its outdated cover.

"'Love Is Not Over?' It already sounds great!" You say, Namjoon's face flaring up in shades of pink from embarrassment. He can't handle your compliments.

He watches as your magical (E/C) eyes scan along the lines of the cheap paper. They're beautiful... your eyes are to him. It's probably his favorite thing about you, aside from your great personality.

He just can't help but stare at you, his mouth hanging agape slightly... just.. wow. Namjoon thought he had a small crush on you, which he really wants to deny, but maybe it's developing into something bigger. When he first realized his feelings around you, he was in extreme denial, and still is.

I mean, there's no way it can work out, right? You're both idols, you both work all the time.. and plus, he's known you for about four or five years. And.. there's no way you'll feel the same..

Right?

"Wow... Namjoon, this is amazing!" You smile brightly to him. He scratches the back of his neck, his face never returning to its original color since he's been in the room with you.