Angel | BTS ✓

Chapter 35

The ride's been fairly silent.

You've been driving for over two hours and will be in Gwangju in a few minutes. You stare ahead blankly, contemplating how in the hell you convinced Namjoon to go along with you. Thankfully, you don't have anything scheduled tomorrow except for dance practice and voice lessons, and at this point, you don't care if you miss those.

You just need an escape.

Maybe the idea is crazy, but you're glad you at least have Namjoon with you. It's out of character for him to agree, being the smart and responsible leader he is, but he still did and that's the one thing you can't get off your mind.

"Joonie,"

The said boy never looks your way even when his nickname is spoken, his eyes focused on the night sky outside his window. He's been staring at the same sky for over two hours, looking like he's been thinking of nothing when in reality, every thought in the world is running through his head. Oddly enough, seventy-percent of those thoughts have to do with you.

"Yeah?" He replies, still managing to blush at the minor nickname. Every time.

"Why did you come with me?" You inquire simply, your hand still resting at the wheel. You don't dare look at Namjoon, for fear that he may look at you in a way you wouldn't like.

He's quiet for a second, as if in thought. His eyes analyze every building, big or small. Namjoon finally lets out a deep breath, closing his eyes for a bit longer than normal before answering your burning question.

"I'm guessing you're surprised, right? Rap Monster, the responsible and sensible leader of Bangtan Sonyeondan, going out like this. Trust me, I know you're shocked," he says, his eyes half-lidded and his face expressionless; you chew on the inside of your cheek at his words anxiously. Somehow, he always seems to know exactly what you were thinking. "I'm more than just the leader of BTS. I'm also Kim Namjoon, and just because I'm resourceful and smart, it doesn't mean I don't think with my heart instead of my head."

You only nod, unnoticed by Namjoon. You should've taken that into consideration earlier. The road ahead of you just keeps on going, as if endless. It reminds you of how following your dreams can feel. Even if you reach your goal, you still feel like you can do more, like the path in front of you is, well, infinite.

"The reason I came along was because I know you, (Y/N). You can pretend to be someone you're not all you want, but I know what's behind the mask, what—or, who you used to be. I know that if I said no, you probably would have snuck out and gone to Gwangju anyway, and you probably would have gone ahead and practiced in your hometown while you were there to make up for lost hours," he finishes, finally turning his head to look at you while running his hand through his messy hair.

Your hair had been tied up into two pigtails at some point in the ride, the nostalgia already seeming to hit you as you put it up then, even though you aren't even in Gwangju yet. There's even a coat you always keep in the car just in case that you need one that you wore, but for some reason, you're still cold.

Namjoon is right. He knows you like the back of his hand, and can see through any facade you decide to put on. He knows that you like to pretend you're okay, to put on a smile so that others can feel happy. He's aware of how much you loved A.R.M.Y, and most importantly, the rest of your brothers. After all, A.R.M.Y and Bangtan are all you have left as family, and because of that, he knows how much it beats you down to hear that some "A.R.M.Y"s decide you aren't good enough.

"I know," Namjoon begins once again, "I know that you need an escape. All of us need one. But I think you needed one the most."

His words hit you like a truck. You have been neglecting taking a break for around five years, ever since you started your dream, but somewhere deep down, this so-called 'escape' that you're going to... you don't want to count it as a 'break.' If you took a break, you couldn't live with yourself. You have to keep going. Going on and on is all you know.