Desperado

nineteen

"You don't touch me, the way you used to"

Donny

"Boy pick your head up out that book and go stock up those new arrivals for the shop." Uncle Pierre said as I read a small book behind the cash register. It had been a while since I came into work, and he was of course on my ass about it.

I walked out and grabbed a box, putting it into the store. Once I picked up the last box from the delivery truck, I saw Derrick walking up with his dinner in his hand. Ignoring him, I walked back into the store without holding the door open for him.

"Both of y'all better behave while I'm gone. Overnight shifts can get a bit hectic so I'd advise you embrace for the drunk fuckers who are coming in." Uncle Pierre muttered as he grabbed his belongings and exited the door.

My nose piercing was still healing so every now and then I had to wipe around it with a Q-tip. Just as I began wiping, Derrick tried to strike up a conversation.

"I like your piercing." He had came behind the counter and was standing next to me. "Yeah I like it too. Now give me fifty feet, you might be one of them bitches with that corona shit." I replied, pushing him away. He chuckled and began struggling to put the boxes on the shelf.

My mind instantly shifted to Byron. Ever since that car ride home from the mall, he refused to text me or even talk to me. I tried multiple times to talk to him, but instead I was sent to voicemail every time.

"Dontavious. Ring this young woman up." Derrick spoke, waking me out of my daydream. I instantly turned to the woman, placing a smile on my face. "I apologize, is that all?" She simply nodded and handed me the money.

I heard the bell ring and looked up at who was entering the store. Speak of the fucking devil. Byron walked in and instantly made eye contact with me, walking over.

"Excuse me ma'am." He said as she exited the store. "Bring your ass here nigga. We need to talk." He said to me pointing, while walking back outside. I quickly tell Derrick to cover me and walked outside to meet him.

"So what the fuck was the other night?" He asked folding his arms. "I don't know.. I thought it just felt right. I've been calling multiple times to say I'm sorry but you won't answer." I shrug and he shakes his head.

"I thought you said I was like your brother." He said eyeing me. "Well I thought you were but you made me feel good. I was in need of a good pickup, and I thought I had it but you didn't want that. It's simple. Sorry." I say, about to walk back into the store.

Suddenly, I feel my arm being pulled as he pulls me around go face towards him. "Listen Donny, you're a great person. I wouldn't have no problem trying to do shit with you, but I know I'm not meant for that. You need to figure shit out with Derrick. That's your soulmate, I can tell." He says glancing over at Derrick.

"I thought he was my soulmate too but every time I give him another chance, one of us blows it." I look down and began to twirl my fingers together. "That's the whole purpose of love. If you don't succeed, try again."

Derrick must've been looking the entire time because he looked me in the eyes and shook his head. "What're you looking at Derrick?" I said walking over to him. Derrick laughed and replied. "I'm looking at you being a punk over me."

"Boy shut up." I replied back, playfully punching his arm.

"I better get going. Bye Derrick. Bye Don." I look around the store and realize that Byron was still there. "Oh, bye." I say, as he walks out the store.. I returned back to the register and sat down.

"You been mad at me for months. Why you just now trying to loosen up?" Derrick says before sitting next to me. I shrug and continuing reading.

"You kept blowing me off. When Omar left you cold and dry, I tried to help you with the shit by showing you what true love is." He said, removing my book from my hands.

"I went and got a girlfriend because I needed a distraction. Which I'm sure is the reason you tried to get with Byron. I just can't break that loyalty I got to my girl now." He sighs and pats my back.

I felt my face get really hot as tears began to pour from my eyes. I was having a real bad anger episode and I needed some way to get it out. "Derrick, I laid my life out on the line for you. I quit the drug business for you, got out of my gang, even got rid of my girlfriend. This how the fuck you repay me?" I say throwing all of the products off the shelf.

"HUH? ANSWER ME." I begin to take all the glass items and stomp on them, causing them to shatter.

"You make me so vulnerable when I'm with you. Every single time. I miss your kisses and I give you space, but you run off and get a girlfriend and then forget all about me." Before I could break anything else, I feel his arms wrap around me.

"Donny... it's okay. I get it. Just calm down." I continued to shake as I stood in his arms.

"No you don't get it. Nobody does." I push him off and went to clean up everything. "I was in love with a fraud." I say while shaking my head.

"Dontavious, you want me to breakup with her or something? That'll make you happy?" He says, tapping his foot.

"I just want the old Derrick back. Where is the Derrick I first met and fell in love with? Now you're heartless." He hangs his hand down and nods.

"Come here." He turns the open sign to closed and walks to the break room. "What.." I say, closing the door behind me. He sits in the beanbag and pats to his lap.

Hesitating, I sit on his lap and feel his warm arms wrap around me. We sat in comfortable silence as I pressed my head against his chest. I began to calm down and felt my eyelids getting heavy.

"I love you." I hear before I completely fall asleep.