I can't believe my feelings {Bakudeku]

//Just my luck I guess//

(Izuku's POV)

I want to disappear. My life suck. My crush likes someone else, and even worse I help him get together with his crush. I'm really dumb. I need to stop this. I can't keep this up, I might end up do or say something I'll regret. 

But, but I don't want to stop being friends after we just got to become friends after all these years I have finally been able to make a good relationship with kacchan and I might end up ruining it with my stupid crush. there is no way he will ever love me. so I need to stop liking him. why can't I stop liking him? 

Why do I even like him? it's not like he was nice to me since we were kids. he always bullied me and told me to fuck off or call me quirkless, make fun of me beat me up. call me deku. make me feel like shit. beat me up some more. tell me to kill myself. 

but he was always strong. always looked head up on anything. always facing danger instead of running. never gives up. always have this hot smirk on his face when he fights. and he has a hot body and his blond and beautiful hair with his crimson red eyes, that can kill by only looking. his muscles, the way he calls my name. that he has confidence, something that I dont have. he is someone I look up to, someone I always thought of him as my hero, someone who I never will ever get. 

I sighed and stood up. I walked back to my room and walked up to my bed before just slumping into my cover and hoping I would disappear that my bed would swallow me whole. why is this my life? why do I have to like someone that doesn't like me one bit? why do I have to end up liking my bully? why am I so wrong. now I have to suffer every day watching kacchan and Kirishima being all lovey-dovey while I stay here crying myself to sleep like a girl. fuck this is so stupid. why can't I just forget him? 

Because you love him

argh, I don't want to love him, I don't want to feel anything for him. I didnt notice that it was getting pretty late and I haven't done my night training so I stoop up and took on my training clothes and walked, when I was outside I got ready for my running until I heard one too familiar voice. 

'k-kacchan.'

I quickly hid in the bush and looked through the leaf. just to see him talking with Kirishima. the were laughing together. what are they laughing about? 

and why do they walk so close to each other. have you guys never heard of intimate sone. 

I heard kacchan talk. 

"what I would have won the game if it weren't for the damn kids keep telling me I looked like an angry Pomerania." Kirishima chuckle.  

Kirishima: "but it was so funny, cause you got even more pissed and ripped the control. you ended up having to pay for the control. and we got banned from the arcade too." kacchan rolled his eyes. 

"yea, yea. leave me alone."  then I looked over and saw that kacchan didnt have the letter jacket on, but it was on Kirishima. this is stupid if the guy was cold he should have brought his own jacket not used kacchan's.  

then I saw it kacchan reached his hand and touched Kirishima's hair. 

"you got a leaf in your hair." I could see the damn blush that was on Kirishima's face. I clenched my fist and wanted to scream. 

my eyes widened, kacchan started leaning in. No, no kacchan don't do what I think your about to do. don't do it. 

I could see it kacchan was gonna kiss Kirishima. 

It's to soon kacchan. stop it. 

"deku-kun, whar are you doing hiding in the bush." I turned around to see uraraka and Tsuyu. shit. 

I signalled them to be quite. and they looked at me confused. 

"I-I was looking for something?" they looked even more confused. 

Tsuyu: "oh what are you looking for ribbit?" think, think.

"my, my phone yea my phone. I was doing my training and dropped my phone somewhere." 

they nodded and kept on walking. I breathe out of reliving and then I heard someone else calling me someone I did not want to see me now. 

"deku?" 

deku: "shit." I turned around and smiled. before I stood up. 

they both looked at me. 

"h-hey you guys. what's up?"

kacchan: "what the fuck are ya doing sneaking around." I scratched my back neck before nervously laughing.

"o-oh I-I was just training and lost my phone somewhere here and oh there I found it. so sorry for disturbing I'll leave right now." I used one for all and ran away from there as quick as possible hoping they would buy the lie. 

I really dont like lying but I can't say 'oh hey I was just eavesdropping, cause I saw you to coming and wanted to see what you guys were talking about.'

I stopped running and just looked up to the sky. why do I keep having to suffer? this isn't fair. 

"midoriya?" I turned around only to meet...

I got ya now....who do deku meet? that only time knows.