Loving the sin (bxb)

Chapter 21 - Barriers can break too

I left Nathan's hell of a home at around 9 pm. My car raced me home, even though I needed to wait three more hours until I could see my angel again, until it was midnight. Nathan would sneak out of his room somehow and wanted to meet me. I could barely hold back my excitement at the dinner table after I had read the note he sneakily had given me. But I needed to look as cold and pissed as I had before or else that cruel man, my love had to call his father, would have definitely known something was up. 

It pained me, that he couldn't even pretend for his own son's sake to not hate his friend and that he even insulted him, my darling. Yes, I did not take that one very lightly. Nathan was my love, my perfect angel and his own father called him a dumbass like it was nothing. But of course I couldn't have argued back, or things would have escalated very quickly and Nathan would have been in so much trouble, just because I couldn't control myself. No, I would not fail my Nathan another time, never again. 

Driving home, I couldn't help but feel excited. I got to see Nathan in a none threatening environment, where he could be himself. I also wondered why he wanted to meet me tonight, that couldn't wait until tomorrow. Was I that important to him, that he would sneak out of his house? I didn't really like the idea of him doing something that could be dangerous, if his father found out, but at the same time, I was happy that that man couldn't control every aspect of Nathan's life. He was brave tonight and would go against his father's wishes. I was proud and a little worried at the same time. 

When I arrived home and opened the front door, Louis immediately stormed towards me. Oh my god woman, just let me go 'to bed'. "Jesse! If you ignore me like that one more time I will really have to have a talk with your parents!" she yelled at me and I sighed, walking past her and towards the stairs. I wasn't tired, but too exhausted for her bullshit at the same time. 

"They won't pick up anyway" I replied. 

"Fine! Then I will simply give you dish duty for one month!" she replied almost triumphal that she found a better way to punish me. But I didn't care. Doing the dishes wasn't even that bad first of all and secondly, if I would refuse, what would she do then? Throw me out of the house just because of that? Edward could never explain that to my parents. They may not care about me, but it was also in their interest, that I was staying there, so they wouldn't have to take care of me. And maybe that would even be a bit too much for them to know I would be homeless in America. Oh no wait, they would probably just send me more money, so I could live by myself. God, how I hated my bloody parents. 

"Do whatever you want woman" I said, walking up the stairs. I didn't care for her yelling right now, I was just looking forward to meeting Nathan in a bit. 

"Jesse! Did the dinner go ok? Did you do anything I should know about?" she yelled after me. I just continued to walk up the stairs before yelling after her "Oh, just killing their dog, fighting with one of Nathans brothers, taking his sisters virginity and impregnating her and praying to satan when I had the honors of doing the prayer before we ate" I causally replied, reaching the top floor. 

"Jesse!!" I heard Louis hysterical call, but I simply shut my bedroom door and locked it, so she wouldn't barge into my room. Did she actually believe that or was she simply fed up with me? Because, I could never kill an animal and I could never bang a girl. The other two things, very realistic, I had to say. I flopped down on my bed and closed my eyes for a moment. I thought back to Nathans and my hug, which we had shared in his room. I was probably overanalyzing things again, but to me it seemed more than a hug shared between friends to comfort one another. 

It just lasted too long, well not too long for my liking, but too long for it to be a simple hug and it felt like Nathan needed my warmth against him more than I did, even though allegedly, he was comforting me. It just confused me and my love looked equally confused. I probably imagine it, but who knows? Was that why he needed to talk to me? Did that hug confuse him or did he want to make it clear, that it was simply meant as friends and nothing more, because he was straight?! I hated my gay thoughts sometimes. They were gayer than me.