Love Is A Strong Word

Chapter 18: This should be Thirty.

I've got out of the hospital at the middle of the day which makes me happy. I can finally fix it all up. Brendon and Gerald took me to con because Jensen and Jared couldn't because they have responsibilities in the convention they have to appear. I'm sure some media knows what happened already. I saw some headlines in my Google Chrome. I am blaming myself from it but after what Jared and Jensen said before they leave earlier this morning they made me pull it back the sale loathing.

Getting inside the convention made me feel so happy. There was a dramatic difference after all those drama then coming up on this. It feels like... I don't know, I can't compare anything to this. I just forget what happened. Everyone around me almost got their smiles on, costume on although I can see some of them irritated possibly of different reasons but I'm sure they'll forget it when it'll start.

The whole convention was fun and fair. Being at the back seems like in the back is advantage, the casts can't see me as a black cat or a bad omen lingering around although Speight caught me, and he smiled at me knowing I was the one on the bus recognising me on one of his stories but edit out the asking for dinner part which is I'm glad he did. Jared and Jensen too smiled when they saw me across the swarm. But... Misha... I think I've hurt him a lot. I can tell he's pissed off somehow. It showed how he bluntly answered some questions although there are times he jokes he just felt different. I must talk to him somehow. I don't want to left everything unfixed.

"Hey there. Got you some ticket for asking." Someone poked my shoulders and I looked at the man with a red hoodie. I gasped. It is Chuck himself! Rob Benedict. He smiled at me comfortingly as he started to drag me away from the crowds and whispered to go on. While he reached for the headband the same Misha wore when he was still Smith in my eyes. Right now, I love the memories but loving isn't the right word it is I cherish the memories.

Who knew even G o d will help me?

I walked into the line. Looking for the same headband that Misha wore and I did the same then it was my turn then he looks at me. He's clean-shaven, hiatus beard is now gone but still the same eyes that I feel care. I feel meted for a little while I was silent but then I gained my composure and speak.

"Hi Misha." I nervously said. He's still silent sitting. "I would like to ask for an advice." My voice echoed with the use of the speakers.

"I love this man, but he lied to me, but then he saved me you know like Castiel always did..." I said trying to be a spn question. "And I realized we can't be together. I've decided to stay away from him and..." I breathe in deeply. "It is because I respect him and I realize that there are factors to be considered from him and I being together that can't be shaken off. I even brought his friends to danger." Stating those facts made it hard for me not to breathe deeply. " If I tell him..." here it is. "I'm sorry," there. "Will he forgive me for ruining his life?" Misha's stern face was gone and eliminated and his lips formed in a smile.

"You probably didn't know you didn't ruin his life?" He walks on the stage near where I am. "You even fixed it for him. You know. Faith is something that he lacks, and he probably believes he's always been invaded by different sorts of things... Faith that there will always be somebody like you who is out there trying to live their own life with what they learn from TV shows trying to balance it and apply it in a good way, who is strong to face it." He smiled as he slowly got down from the stage and walking straight to me. His microphone down and he hugs me and whispered. "No. You didn't ruin my life. You've made me understand people like you who write fan fictions that you're not only out there to remake someone's idea but to try to find a living with it. And yes you probably be the one but I'll get to choose you in another life."

I don't understand those words... but I knew it was something...