Pain - Reddie

two

(richie tozier)
*august 12th,2019*
"i think i'm gay," eddie states, starting to get up to leave.
i manage to grab his arm tightly to stop him from leaving.
i felt it when i grabbed onto his arm.
maybe i just grabbed him too hard.
"eds, don't leave. it's okay, i support you. you're my best friend, why wouldn't i be okay with it?" i state.
maybe it's because i think i like you.
"you sure?" eddie asks.
he wipes his tears and sits back down on my bed.
"i'm 1,000 percent sure, eddie spaghetti!" i exclaim.
"that's not my name!" eddie shouts.
just shut up, richie.
eddie and i spend the rest of the time reading comics and watching netflix. at 6:45, eddie ends up leaving.
"did you come out to your mom?" i ask.
"no, she would kick me out. there's no point," eddie responds.
"are you coming to the sleepover tomorrow?" i question.
stop annoying him!
"surprisingly my mom is letting me go. you still bringing snacks?"
"of course, remember no pecans!" eddie shouts, walking away.
(a/n: i think in chapter 2 at the jade eddie says to the waiter he's allergic.)
when i get back inside, i can't stop thinking about eddie and how i felt if when i grabbed his arm. i've been questioning if i'm gay and like eddie or bi. i mean, i've never liked a girl, but i've always thought girls were pretty. even if i am gay or bi, would i have to live a lie like eddie? when my dad left my mom when i was two, she started to drink. she only stopped because child protective services threatened to take me away. since then she hasn't been drinking much, but i'm not sure if she's homophobic or not. i decide to call bev, i just need to get everything out. bev ends up picking up on the second ring, i spill everything to her, except about eddie being gay. i don't want to out him to people who don't know yet.
"so you think your each other's soulmate?" bev asks.
"i don't think so, i think i just grabbed onto his arm too hard," i admit.
"i'll pinch him tomorrow and i'll see if you feel it, maybe he is and you're just in denial about it."