Pain - Reddie

four

(richie tozier)
*august 29th, 2019*
"bev, i don't know what to do! not knowing my sexuality is tearing me apart!" i shout.
"rich, i have an idea, i'll kiss you and if you feel something, then maybe your bi, and if you don't maybe your gay. do you know you have feelings for eddie?" bev suggests.
"i think i do. i don't know if he likes me though!" i exclaim.
bev kisses me, but i don't feel anything. i mean obviously i feel her lips on mine, i don't feel any love for her in a romantic way. i pull away and i tear up, just because i'm scared of what my mom is going to say.
"hey, richie, don't cry, if you're gay. i know we support you. i mean we support eddie, stan, and bill," bev says, hugging me.
"i know, its what my mom says. and what about bowers?"
i start to get more and more anxious by the second. bev and i just talk until i have to go home around six. even though i know my sexuality for definate now, i'm still scared of what my mom will say. i can get over bowers not liking me, but if my mom doesn't. i have no one where to live, plus she's my mom, i love her. i have to tell her tonight, when i get home i help my mom make dinner.
"what's wrong, richie? you're never this quiet," my mom asks.
"i have to tell you something, but please don't be mad," i tell her.
"what did you do?" she jokes.
"nothing."
"what is it?"
"i'm gay, mom," i state.
my mom hugs me as i sob into her shoulder.
"i'm sorry," i whisper.
"no don't be sorry, i support you. do you like eddie kaspbrak?" she questions.
fuck.
"i think so," i admit.
"you guys would be cute."
"i think we would too."