Coming May 1, 2020...
Watch her build, watch her grow and watch her survive with tears in her eyes, but not tears of fear nor was it tears of hurt. It was tears of happiness, tears of finally conquering her fears. From this man.
"I wanna go! I don't...
MENTALLY BREAK DOWN UP AHEAD! IF SENSITIVE TO THINGS SUCH AS ANXIETY, DEPRESSION OR PHOIA. PLEASE DONT READ AND NO NEGATIVITY!✨ thanks enjoy!
New, York Harlem Saturday Morning!!
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Heaven POV
It was currently 7:05 am and I was jogging around at the park that was down the street from the apartment building, I left without waking up sky and Darla because I know they'll want to come with me, I didn't want any company right now I just wanted to be alone and let my thoughts cloud my mind.
I wonder what my life would have been like right now if my mom was still alive? I'll probably be in college getting my masters and bachelors degree, I always wondered would I have turned out to be the same way I am right now or would I be completely different, Part of being the heroine of your own life is accepting the good and the bad, I never thought my mother would leave me at such a young age I was torn I was broken I didn't know what to do with my life I just felt like giving up, One of the hardest things that has ever been required for me to do was watch my mother get buried 6ft under, I remember that day like it was yesterday, I was crying so hard but you couldn't tell because the rain mixed with my tears, The dark stormy clouds matched my dark sad emotions I was feeling inside my heart, Although I couldn't see her smile or hug her anymore I still managed to hear her sweet melody laugh, It was like music to my ears. I sometimes would tell her how I was struggling to take care of Darla and somedays I just felt like giving up, My mind knows that my mother is in a better place but my heart just won't accept it.
I stop by a nearby bench and sat down, my heart was pounding so forcefully that I assumed it had crashed by now, the pain was still there, tears ran down my cheeks and my heart was breaking. "I miss you so much mama" Sobs escaped my lips and flowed through my ears. I was in a dark place and very vulnerable right now.
I tried to wipe my tears but they wouldn't stop running down my cheeks I felt like I was crying an ocean. "DAMN MAMA WHY DID YOU HAVE TO LEAVE ME! WHY!" I screamed out in pain, I know I wasn't supposed to question God but I needed answers, I just wanted to know why did he give her cancer why was he allowing me to suffer, I know I'm not perfect I know I may not have prayed every day, but I just wanted him to erase the hurt and worriation in my heart.
I rubbed my red puffy eyes before taking a deep breath. "I just need you right now" I mumbled looking up at the sky.
"H-heaven?" I heard a broken weak voice say, My head snapped up to Joseph the homeless man I gave five dollars not too long ago, I was cool with Joseph he was a nice cool homeless man.
