down for you- ruel vandijk *NOT COMPLETED- i gave up for now*

Chapter Sixteen

As soon as I speak, Ruel looks up. "Cass- it's not what it looks like!"

I roll my eyes. "Oh yeah, is that right? I'm pretty damn sure it does." I say, and rush out. All I can see is red. 

Kate and Coco see me rushing by, and Coco runs after me. As soon as we're both in the bathroom and the door is locked, I sit down and cry.

Every fear and insecurity I've had about dating Ruel, a celebrity, has just been thrown in my face. 

"I'm not sure what happened," Coco cautiously starts, "but if he hurt you, his ass is getting beat." she snarls.

I laugh and then cry harder as I relive what I just saw. "I know I've only known Ruel for a little over a month, but I'm so broken, and I don't know why." I manage to say as I feel my heart breaking into tiny shards.

Her face softens. "Do you want to talk about it?" she asks, and I nod.

"He cheated on me." I manage to say through my tears. Cheated. The word feels like acid in my mouth, and I start to feel nauseous. I run to the toilet and throw up and cry as Coco holds my hair above my head. Poor girl. 

Once I'm comfortably back on the floor, she sighs, rubbing my back and hugging me. "I'm not sure if you're ready to talk about specifics," she says, alluding to my puking episode, "but if you don't mind me asking, what exactly happened?"

I tell her what I saw, and with each detail, she looks more and more furious and horrified. I hear the crowd in the main room start to cheer, and she looks at me. "Do you still want to go or go to the hotel?" she asks, and I melt into a puddle of sadness and anger, realizing I'm not even in New York, so I can't sleep in my bed.

I'm in a foreign country. 

With my cheating boyfriend...

....and I've got no way to go home.

She hands me a kleenex, and I dry my tears and blow my nose. "I guess I should go support Charlie," I say, and she nods and pats my back, but I can see that under the calm and controlled mask she has on that, she's furious with her younger brother.

After I freshen up my makeup- which I usually couldn't care less about except that now I have "fans"- we walk out, Coco's arm supportively around me. By now, everyone's in the venue, and the opening act has just finished. We find a spot near the back where we won't be spotted, and I take a deep breath when he runs onstage. I see him scanning the crowd as if he's looking for someone- probably the blonde bitch. I don't usually curse, but I'm so hurt I've lost all filters.

I know it's cowardly of me, but when he starts looking near the back, I hide behind Coco. I can practically feel the anger radiating off of her, and he seems to wither under her gaze.

He gives up looking around and I see his shoulders slump. I almost feel bad for him since he can't find whoever he's looking for, but then I remember the incident in the green room and my chest aches.

He starts off singing Painkiller, and everyone can tell something's off. He completes a painfully sad version of Hard Sometimes and starts crying softly at three different points during Dazed and Confused and can't hide it anymore when his voice loudly wobbles. I can only watch as Michelle and Nate exchange concerned looks.

Ruel sighs and sits down on the edge of the stage. "Sorry, guys. I'm a mess," he says, and the crowd reassures him. He looks up and says, "I really hurt someone I love tonight."

Love? 

"She means the world to me and I messed up. So this is an unreleased song I wrote for her," he says, and I realize I've forgotten to hide again when our eyes meet. I look away quickly, feeling tears start to work their way back into my eyes. I feel the crowd's eyes shift my way, and it takes everything in me not to start crying.

He starts to sing, and a sob escapes me and I run out of the venue as fast as I can and towards the hotel. Ruel looks at me, heartbroken, but I can't stop.

The last thing I hear is Coco angrily calling out, "Fuck you, Ruel!" and I laugh through my tears as we run out of the venue.

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okay that was a lot

don't worry things will get better

eventually

I don't wanna make them get back together immediately coz that's boring

also, I've come up with like twelve plot ideas for this book so it's gonna be a long story