|~24~|

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When I wake up in the morning, I feel exhausted. Really exhausted. And I remember easily why. After Colby 'lost control' for a moment, I insisted that he just sits and talks to me. We sat on opposite ends of the couch with pillows in our laps just for the fun of it and talked. For the whole night. We've never really done that before. Sure, we've talked for hours but never until the sun comes up.

It's only then that I realise there's an annoying, blaring sound coming from just beside my head. I finally open my eyes only to get immediately blinded by the sun coming in from the window. I flinch away, turning my head and reaching for the sound. Eventually my phone is in my hands and I shut it up with ease.

It takes me forever to actual sit up in bed. Nope. There's no way I'm going to work today; Kirsten's still not around to be the singer so I'm not a necessity. I pick my phone up, find my boss' number, and call her.

Ring. Ring. Ring . . . "hello?"

"Hey, listen I'm really sorry but I can't make it in today." I say instantly before I change my mind. Without thinking, I climb out of my bed wearing only a long shirt and walk into the main room, intending on starting some breakfast. Maybe it'll wake me up.

"Something come up?" She asks sweetly.

"Of sorts. That okay?"

"Of course! You're not supposed to be working with Kirsten anyway. I'll get Amy off her ass so she can cover the good work you do." I laugh as I shake my head. "Have a nice day, Lydia."

"You too." I hang up, dropping my phone on the counter then turning around. I naturally hum the song stuck in my head as I find a bowl and reach as high as I can to get the cereal. My finger is so close to touching the box when I jump out of my skin.

"Need some help over there?" I spin as fast as I can to see Colby lying on my couch. It's too short for his long body so his feet are hanging off of the one side. His arm is draped over his face but he's lifted it just enough to peek at me.

"Uh . . . no? I'm sorry, did I wake you?"

"A little." He rolls on his side facing away and gets comfortable. "I normally sleep during the day so I'll be out in no time."

"Well, you're lucky I'm not going to work then." I smile at his still body. My hunger has very suddenly subsided so I forget about making breakfast and walk to him. "Mind if I snuggle in?" He opens his eyes, looks me up and down, then slowly shakes his head. I crawl onto the couch with him only for him to wrap his arms around me and flip us the other way. Now I'm trapped between the back and his body. I don't mind at all, wrapping my arms around his neck as I lift my leg and drape it over his side.  (The header pic)

"You don't have to sleep here with me." He whispers tiredly without moving. Our bodies are so unbelievably close, it's strange. I can't imagine Colby being this intimate with someone, even me—his girlfriend—but here we are.

"I'm super tired and I'm finding you to be super comfortable." I mumble. "So it's okay." It takes no time at all for the outside world to drift away and for my eyes to close.

Colby Brock
A laugh is what wakes me up. At home; hearing something like that and having it wake me from my only recently obtained slumber would piss me off and end in someone getting a broken neck, but this laugh is different. It's music to my ears; makes my dead heart feel like it's beating again.

"Have a nice day, Lydia." A voice I don't recognise says cheerfully. I realise that the voice is distant and digital as if it's not real. When I lift my arm a little from over my eyes, I see Lydia standing in the kitchen with a phone to her ear.

"You too." She replies, hanging up and dropping her phone on the counter. She begins to hum quietly to herself as she places a bowl down and reaches up to the top of the fridge for one of the boxes. As her boyfriend, I instantly feel the need to go and help her, but figure she'll want me to ask first.

"Need some help over there?" I ask her, watching the way she jumps and spins around to look at me. I take the second to glance at her, only to see what she's wearing. Oh god. That's not god. It's only a shirt that barely covers her ass even smoothed down . . . wow, she's stunning.

"Uh . . . no? I'm sorry, did I wake you?" Her voice breaks me from my lustful stare. I can't look at her, or be tempted to look at her, anymore. It could end badly.

"A little." I roll so that I can't see her. At least then, I have to work to see her and I don't really have the energy to right now. I'm beat. "I normally sleep during the day so I'll be out in no time." I tell her, closing my eyes.

"Well, you're lucky I'm not going to work then." She says with what seems to be a smile on her face. I hear her and I smell her coming closer. The latter isn't so great. "Mind if I snuggle in?" Snuggle in?! I've never, ever felt the need or want to snuggle with anyone. But she isn't anyone. I guess I've already changed a little for her, so this won't be any different to what's already happened.

Of course, when I open my eyes, I see that outfit again and I have to rethink everything. Can I control myself with this? Or is it too dangerous? I bite my lip and slowly shake my head so she lies down on the couch next to me. I know immediately that it'll be uncomfortable for her so I wrap my arms around her and roll the opposite way. She ends up between me and the back of the couch, which makes my monster growl, and she 'snuggles in'. By that, I mean she gets as close to me as possible.

Dangerous. I tell myself. This is dangerous. I'm opening myself up for an opportunity to hurt her and I couldn't do that. Never.

"You don't have to sleep here with me." I whisper hopefully. Maybe she'll see that she doesn't want to cuddle with me and she'll go away. That'll make everything easier, especially since her neck is literally right there. My face is in it. I don't think I've taken a breath for about five minutes.

"I'm super tired and I'm finding you to be super comfortable. So it's okay." I listen to her breathing and her heartbeat. It seems much too fast but slows very quickly at the same time. I feel her muscles loosening until, finally, everything is completely steady. She's out, I realise. She's asleep just like that.

My face is basically snuggled into her neck, which is the worst thing that could be happening after I almost lost control last night. Maybe, if I can learn to control myself better, then I won't hurt her. Ever.

So, I take a deep breath. I inhale right there beside her veins and take in the scent. At first, all I smell is the blood that's flowing through her, which makes the monster grow, but then, I smell her. Her own personal scent. The monster still growls, but in a different way. It's more . . . affectionate. I don't want to feed from her, I just want to be there.

I snuggle my face in closer and even dare to gently kiss the skin. She doesn't react so I know that she's completely asleep. I do it again, this kiss a little bit closer to the vein. Nothing. That took less time than I thought, but I don't understand why it's so soon that I can resist it. I know that it took me at least a month to stop having to try not to bite Katrina or Tara. What's different about Lydia?

The truth is: everything.

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