Cyrus v. the Homosapien Agenda

1/20/20

Do you ever just wake up one morning and realize how much of an absolute idiot you've been?

Today, that was me.

I still say that I was right to be mad about the whole friend thing. But damnit, TJ apologized. AJ's not around. He's actually made an effort to try to fix things.

And in petty anger, I brushed it off.

I'm holding him to a double standard. I used my email alias to show him there's a problem. It may have taken him a few days, sure, but he did try.

No matter what we've been through, he still wants to be friends.

All I can hope for now is that he'll accept an apology.

The next few days go by in a blur. I try to catch him but he's never alone, always with his cousin sister or teammates. I even try the swings a few times, but he's not there.

Eventually, it's the day before Opening Night. Ms. Albright was impressed by my performance during the school rehearsal as Fagin, and after discussing it with Walker, has decided to have us alternate days where we play Fagin. Since he's got more theatre experience and closing night is super important, we've decided that I'll do Opening Night and he'll do Closing Night. Rehearsal ends a little late, but we make plans to have a pre-Opening Night pizza party and run through. It's seemingly tradition around here.

I go to the park and to my immense relief, TJ is alone at the swings. I walk over, "Is that swing taken?"

He looks up at me, surprised, "How'd you know I'd be here?"

"I've been stopping by, seeing if I could catch you without your bodyguards," I admit.

He looks away, "I didn't think you wanted to hang out with me. I should go."

"Stay. I'll go," I decide. But I gotta give this a shot, "Can I at least say I'm sorry first?"

His surprise grows, but he shrugs.

"I don't know what it is, exactly, that caused me to get so mad. Maybe I was just jealous. I don't really know. It really didn't help that your cousin told me off like that. But you tried to apologize and I brushed you off. Now you hate me. Classic Cyrus, anything good happens to me, I gotta find some way to ruin it."

He's still silent, so I walk over to the other swing to leave. TJ calls out, "Cyrus!"

I turn to him, "You said you were going to apologize."

"I just did."

"Actually, you didn't," he says, and I'm starting to realize this conversation reminds me a lot of a certain one we had last year.

"Yes, I did, I said I was -" I say, then realize I never actually said the words, "You're right. Well, sorry for not saying sorry."

I start to walk away again, but once again, he stops me, "So, you apologized for not apologizing, but you still haven't apologized."

"You can be a little annoying you know that?" I ask, trying to refrain from smiling.

"Well you can be oblivious," he says. I'm not sure whether he's recalling that past conversation or he's being honest.

"Well you can be very judge-y."

"Well you can be intimidating," he says, and now I know he remembers the conversation. Me? Intimidating? Ha.

"You know what else you are?" I ask, our faces almost merely an inch apart. No, Cyrus, it would not be a good time to try to kiss him.

"What?"