Every Step Away

ESA34

ESA34

I am curious about whatever he means by what he said but I just chose to ignore it. These moments and the times I spent with him makes me feel really vulnerable all the time.

Ang hirap. Pero bukod sa pinasok ko na ito, gusto ko sanang makakita ng tsansya para makausap siya.

Maybe I just need a little talk with him too. It worked before with Rylan. Baka iyon lang din ang kailangan ko.

We spent a little longer on the land. I asked him about his opinions that just landed on one solid answer from him: whatever you think is good.

Damn it.

"Ako nalang." he impatiently said when I stared at the menu for long minutes but still undecided on what I want to eat.

Ngumiti saakin ang waitress. Ako naman ay nagsarado na ng menu. Halos wala pang isang minuto ay naka-order na muli si Hezekiah para naman saakin.

Alam niya namang wala talaga akong utak kapag pilian ng pagkain eh.

"I'll start planning your house," I informed him.

"How about the interior design?" tanong niya.

I blinked. Ano daw? Interior design?

"I thought..."

Akala ko bahay lang? Well, of course, I can do the interior too. But that means more time to spend with him...

Napabuga ako ng hangin.

"Why?" tanong niya.

"Nothing, Sir."

"Call me Hezekiah or Heze..."

My lips parted and my eyes went wide. Am I hearing weird things? Nag ha-hallucinate ba ako?

"What?" I asked him, unsure if I really heard him right.

"You're used to it." he only said before he focused on his phone.

Natulala ako sa kanya. My head feels like exploding with a lot of things. I don't know what he's doing but he's confusing me so much.

Dumating ang pagkain namin kaya naman tumigil siya sa pagce-cellphone. He put it in his pocket.

Tahimik kaming kumain. We are just like two people who are together but alone. There are a lot of things I wanted to tell him.

In every long silence like this that we have, I wanted to speak up my mind and tell him to listen to me. But as soon as I'll raise my head to try, I'll meet with his eyes and I'll just chicken out.

Maybe no matter how much I wanted to escape this situation because it's painful and it's making me feel suffocated, my mind knows that I want to cherish having him this close to me.

Kasi pag-natapos ito, mawawala rin naman diba? I'll just enjoy all my stolen glances of him.

"Mr. Jimenez?"

Napatigil ako sa pagkain kahit si Hezekiah naman ang tinawag. Natural response na siguro iyon ng katawan ko na mag-react sa pagtawag sa kanya.

I watched Hezekiah stopped eating and look over me. Hindi ako lumingon ngunit alam kong nasa may likod ko ang lalaking tumawag sa kanya.

Hindi nagtagal ay may nakita akong bulto saaking gilid, naglalakad para makalapit sa nasa unahan ko. He stopped in the middle of our table that's why I finally had the chance to look at him.

"Mr. Lim." pormal na tawag ni Hezekiah at tumayo upang batiin ang naka corporate attire na matanda.

Nagdalawang isip tuloy ako kung kailangan ko bang tumayo rin o mananatili nalang akong naka-upo.