Secret

Chapter 20

~Y/N POV~

I walked out the beach with my full sights on Jimins back.

My heart was beating ten times faster than normal and I was a nervous wreck that he found out about me. I guess now I have to explain myself, I have no option but to because I know he's going to ask questions about his and why I blocked him off.

I changed into his clothes that he left me on the beach and headed back to the deck at the back of the house and nervously sat down on one of the lounge chairs, fiddling with the ends of my hair refusing to look at him when he followed me to sit down on the lounger chair beside me.

I couldn't look at him but I knew he was staring right at me. He was amused yet filled with questions. Mixed emotions really, anxious, angry, confused he was all over the place and I had no idea what to say to him to start my explanation.

"As you can tell my head is all over the place......Y/n." Jimin

I could sense the smirk in his face when he said my name. I didn't have to look at him to know that much it was just in his tone of voice.

"Yes."

Was all I said, bring my knees up to my chest but making sure I was covered down below also.

"Why did you keep this from me? Why did you cut our connection from you side? Did I do something to hurt you in such a way that you felt the need to cut me off? Please just tell me why?" Jimin

I heard the crack in his voice as he asked me his many questions out loud for the first time in months and I myself felt my own heart ache to hear and feel this from him, sitting so close and right in front o me in arms reach. I looked at him with sadness to see him staring back at me, pleading with his eyes for answers and I know he deserves to know.

"I didn't want to but I had to. For the both of us. For you."

He didn't like that and I felt his anger above anything else and he sits forward in his seat, using his elbows to prop himself up on his knees.

"That's bull Y/n and you know it. Don't lie to me." Jimin

I scoffed at him and stared him right into his dark eyes.

"I'm not lying Jimin. I didn't want to do this. I had to cut off our connection between us so you wouldn't get hurt by the hands of my parents. If my parents knew you were here I never would of been sent here, well maybe."

He frowns and claps his hands together to entwin his fingers with one another.

"What's that suppose to mean?" Jimin

I sighed to myself and wiped my face with the back of the sleeve.

"Sam ran away."

I stated to him and he nodded stared back at me without saying another word, allowing me to continue.

"He ran away so to keep up with the family reputation they forced me to come here as Sam but around about that time they told me they found out about our bond being unusual threatened that if I had any more contact with you then they would find out about you and kill you. I could risk it since I know of what my father is capable and just did as I told."

Jimin remained silent and stared at me blankly but I could feel his sympathy towards me but the anger was now towards my parents. We stared at each other in silence until Jimin sighs and sits up straight.

"They found out we're the Samsara couple Y/n. They must be one of the people that hate us. I'm just lucky enough to be born to parents that accepted it." Jimin

His parents know?

"So they know of our bond then?"

I asked cautiously and he nods with a small smile to look down for a second to then back to me.

"Yes, they've always known. I always talked to them about you. I'm surprised you don't remember me telling you that. I remember everything about you and even some things from our past life coming back to me." Jimin

He's had stuff like that?

I pouted at lip in thought and looked back at the beach in thought. How come he has had stuff like that but I haven't?

"Y/n. Look at me please?" Jimin

I bit my bottom lip and turned my head to look at him with much softer eyes than before as he looks at me.

"What?"

Jimin scoots to the end of his chair but eyes fully kept on me.

"Just break down the wall Y/n. You still have it up and there's no use in keeping it there now that I know who you are and your reason." Jimin

I was nervous to do that. If I do that means he would see and feel everything I have been keeping from him over the last year and I'm scared to how he would react. He would see how my parents treated me, how his actions and words hurt me so much and the many times I went to hospital over his relations with others. It could hurt him, hurt his soul and I would feel guilty for making him feel that way.

Jimin reaches out for my hand and takes my right hand in his, creating this shock between us. I gaped at the feeling but jimin just smiled at me.

"It's because we're bonding the right way Y/n. But please just let me in." Jimin

"You wont like it. It could hurt you."

He shook his head still giving me that calm, reassuring smile.

"I'll be fine but please take it down." Jimin

I gulped nervously feeling weak to his pleas in person. He was right we are bonding and the wall itself was giving me a head ache so in the end I nod at him, forcing a smile to him. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, holding his hand and focusing on the wall in my mind. It was coloured gold in my head and I pictured myself knocking it down with a hammer. Tearing it down completely until there was nothing left.

I gasped at the rush it gave me to finally feel light on my feet to fully feel Jimins presence in my mind. I felt whole again but Jimins grunted and his grip on my hand tightened. I opened my eyes to see he squeezed his eyes shut, biting down on his bottom lip. I didn't know why at first but then I realised it was because he was seeing and feeling everything I have since I cut him off. It would of hit him like a truck.

Jimin sighs sadly when he suddenly relaxes and slowly opens his eyes that were already brimming with tears. I could feel how hurt, guilty and angry he was.

"Y/n...I'm so sorry. I-I could of.....I shouldn't of....your parent...I-" Jimin

I cut him off by placing a finger on his lips to say no more. I don't want him to put any blame on himself if that was what he was going to do. I just wanted to move on.

"No Jimin. I just want to move on from this and only go forward. Just the two of us, please?"

Now it was my turn to plead with him, staring back into his teary ones. Again we stayed staring at one another until he finally nods quietly but broke out into tears. I couldn't resist it and moved off my seat to climb onto the back of his one and back hug him from the back, holding him close in my arms to comfort him. Already I could feel the bond between us grow and repair from what damage was done from my doing.

I put my chin on his shoulder and he snuggled back into me, enjoying to feeling of my small arms around him.

"I promise I wont do that ever again."

I whispered in his ear, comforting my soulmate that I can finally hold in my arms as my own. Finally we can be the true soulmates we are.