I Miss The Old You.. (1D Fanfic)

Run. All I thought was to run. I needed to escape from this horror. I've been living this life for to long. This needs to end now. I ran out my door and down the street. I heard the screen door slam as I turned the corner. I heard a yell from my brother but couldn't make out what he was yelling. Then I heard footsteps closer and closer.

Don't look back. I ran into an alley and slowed down for a breathe. I should've never taken that breathe. That breathe risked my life and brothers. I heard a gunshot. I turned around to see my brother, my own brother holding a gun to me. He was starring at my arm. I looked at it. He had shot me. His own sister. Right in front of my eyes he held the gun up to his head, and mouthed 'I'm Sorry.' He pulled the trigger and fell down lifeless. I struggled to get out my phone, but the blood kept on pouring out of me.

"Hello, What is your emergency?" The lady asked. I kept gasping for air as I struggled to get out the word "Help." I gave up, and blacked out.

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I shot up from bed. I've been having that dream for 2 years now. That night replayed over and over in my head. My brother tried to kill me that night but didn't succeed. He also tried to kill himself and succeeded.

All this crap started when my parents died. I was driving. It was winter time, and the road was icy. I lost control and the car flipped over several times. I was 16 then, new driver and wasn't used to that kind of weather conditions. My mom died instantly.. And my father passed in the hospital from blood loss. I was alone with my brother, Jason. Who I never really gotten along with.

He was always Mom and Dads favourite.

He blamed it on me, their deaths. But I blamed it on myself also, it was entirely my fault. I started to cut myself a month after the accident. My brother didn't like that so then started to abuse me. He was 23 at the time and had power over me. It's been 2 1/2 years since the car crash.

I shouldn't of driven. My parents wanted me to though. They said it would be good practice. Some practice, eh? I miss them.. Because they were my parents. They never did really treat me right. Never really cared for me, just Jason. I was always in the corner watching my family have good times. I was never really a people person.

I had one best friend then, an foreign exchange student. His name was Liam. But he left from my life, onto his big dream. He forgot about me. Never wrote, or called. Like he promised he would. He was my best friend from ages 11 - 14. I regret every second of time I spent with him. Even though he treated me right then, now I know it was all just a game. Find someone who is useless, and play them.

Ok, he didn't really play me. I just always had to find a reason for me to hate him. Liam was actually an amazing friend. I actually used to have a lot of friends. Liam was in it. Then Liam left, a few left after he did. But, I still had some. Once the rest of my friends found out that my mom and dad died, they left. Rumours started to spread about me murdering my parents or how I meant to kill them.

Stupid Things. They were stupid things that hurt me.. A lot. I got no help, not even family. We had a big family. But none were interested in me. Who knows if they knew I existed. I used to live in America, but once I turned 18, which was like 2 months ago, I moved to London. I work as a editor for the newspaper. I needed a job where I didn't have to speak to people.

One thing I need to tell you is that I haven't spoken in 2 years 3 months 15 days. Since my brother killed himself. I haven't gotten my words out. Why? I feel responsible, for his death. I don't know why I do, I just-, I don't know. I live in an apartment and my neighbours think I'm deaf. Which is annoying.

I only get my words out by writing. I love to write short stories, sometimes songs. There's this one boy in the building though who gets me. He understands by looking me in the eyes. His name is Kevin. I write to him, so he understands me more. He is the only one who really knows what happened in my life.