Loveliest Regrets

42. Knock Knock

Gareth's POV
Can't deny the fact that for some reason my sweater still smells like her and I'm not complaining.

I kept the hoodie she wore, next to me last night, imagining how purely blissful her presence would be. How amazing it would feel to hug her and sleep, every night. I like to take care of her. Just the thought of making her spoilt turns me on. I don't know how's that even possible?

It was a weekend, so I wouldn't be able to meet her. I was in my office, doing some work but my mind constantly revolved around the fact that I won't see her face today and it made me upset.

Everything becomes so easy when she's in my reach, when I know I'd be able to hold her soon. I don't understand how she does that. How her presence feels the most peaceful place to be in. Touching her soft skin is so satisfying.

Every time I think about her, I question myself. Am I doing a correct thing? Am I holding her back? Am I the right guy for her? Am I 'the one' for her?

These questions appear like a pair of tangled headphones, which I'm never able to untangle. This concern dominates my choice of staying close to her and I can't really figure out what I should do. Her little smile makes my heart drop and only I know how hard I try not to pull her and kiss so badly.

But why are you afraid to do that?

It's simple logic. I don't want to scare her away. Yes, I agree that we're in a relationship, but every action I perform effects her to the core. It's not because she's new to this relationship but she's in an age where her mind will not ignore even the most minor things.

I know very well that I matter to her a lot and honestly I love that, but if I do something wrong, I wouldn't even be able to figure it out as I might snub, but she won't and I don't want that to happen. I don't want to lose her simply because I can't control myself around her? No! Definitely not.

>>

My work was done and it wasn't very late. I looked at my watch and it was almost two o'clock in the afternoon. I smiled thinking I could rest and talk to Briar, when my attention was grabbed by a book, more accurately a book borrowed from the library, meaning I had to return it.

So, I picked it up and went to the library. The sky was clear and bright light shined across the school buildings. Taking a deep breath, inhaling the fresh air, a smile came on my face.

No matter how much I miss my office days, this fresh air and soothing feeling can't be compared to it. I wouldn't have experienced any of this in the city where people are just too busy minding their own business.

Well, I reached the library soon and as I entered, a few people, probably teachers made a little noise. It wasn't the noise of simple chit-chats and gossips, but something different.

"What's the hustle about ma'am?" I asked grabbing the librarian's attention.

She looked at me with a stunned expression. Then she bowed a little, greeting me.

"Good afternoon, sir" she said.

I smiled greeting her in the same way. "Good afternoon ma'am"

"Uh, what happened? Something wrong?" I asked.

"Nothing to worry about, sir. We were cleaning the book shelves a little" she said and I nodded.

I went towards her and returned the book. As she held the book her expressions changed.

"What happened ma'am?" I asked, seeing a little frown on her face.

"I'm unable to find a book. Maybe a student took it without getting it issued. These students are just very careless!" she said looking at the computer screen.