He's The Subject I Can't Have [ON-GOING]

Chapter Sixteen (Poem: Day 7 of 41)

Day 7 of 41

Pen, paper, coffee and chocolates
Never underestimate the power of Poets
They play words just to elaborate their feelings
Thousands of hidden tears were written behind those papers

Onomatopoeia — hear those tickling tick tack of the clock
Wander the stories behind those flashback
Get a grip, grind your horrible glass sticks
Sing with the rhyme of my new written piece

Right after those days of having writer's block
Expect me writing poems will all my heart
Read my piece and discover untold stories—
A story where you are the main character, my bliss

It took me minutes of waiting under the shed of mango tree
Until I saw you with your other guy friends
My heart suddenly flips and stumbled inside my chest
Whilst my skirt flew as the wind passes my place

I stood up form where I am sitting
Following your phase while still walking
Step back, oh boy, you are giving me goosebumps
Then turn around and see me throwing up

Heartbeats, butterflies in my stomach and such
Cliché yet it gave me almost a heart attack
Watch me falling onto the ground
And see me laying under the folds of my hidden bound

Last Friday, I didn't see you beneath
And it made me feel sad, 'coz I never saw your smile that never fades
Let me personified the cat at your back
Staring you with 'likeness' whilst sending you 'I like yous' and craps

Oh boy, may you turn around and see me please
You can identify me through my eyes in blaze
Tuck your head up and stare
As I stopped on my tracks and give you my share—

Thousands of words lingers
But my heart has only one word to say
Read me as you do your share
You're the one if you understand what it says

—Lily

I smiled bitterly after reading my piece. How I wish he understands what I suppose to mean on that letter. I've been seeking for someone who can understand and see me as a hidden gem.

Thousands of words lingers
But my heart has only one word to say
Read me as you do your share
You're the one if you understand what it says

What do I supposed to mean with this stanza? Now that I am in vain, I realize whom to share my pains. I felt so comfortable telling Alexis about my sentiments and it's great indeed that sharing your voice towards a stranger is worth it.

I just thought, that if by chance, makilala niya ako, I am hoping na makita niya 'yong mga bagay na pilit kong tinatago at mabasa niya kung ano ang sinasabi ng mga mata ko. Kaya siguro walang makakakita ng halaga ko dahil sa sikreto at kasinungalingang tinatago ko sa aking puso. I keep on fooling and faking my feelings, showing them real smiles but they didn't even notice that my eyes screams...sadness.

It takes a right person to read me, and I can't wait for him to come. I am on the verge of giving up and I am just trying to make a life for I still have dreams despite those discouragements I heard every time I did my best.