Destined to be together

Chapter 11

Dimitri

I lay in my bed looking up at the ceiling.
I couldn’t stop myself but think about her.
There was definitely something wrong.

Why would she lie to me?

Why wouldn’t she tell me the truth?

I keep tossing and turning in my bed.

To be honest I wasn’t just concerned about April.

I was concerned about myself as well.
I couldn’t forget about the feeling that I felt when I saw her scared that way.

My heart aches to see her like that.

I wanted to help her.

I wanted to hold her close to me and heal all her pain, all her wounds.

But I can’t do that.

Even if a small part of me wants to reach out to her a larger part of me pulled me back.

I couldn’t let it happen again.

I felt like I was divided into two within myself.

A part of me told, not to trust her, not to think of her, held me back each time I tried to reach out to her.

Not to let the harshness of hatred and betrayal wound my heart again.

Not to let history repeat itself.

But then there’s another part of me that wanted to trust her with my everything, wanted to believe in her.

Which wanted to take all of her pain away and heal her.

A part of me wanted to give it another chance.

A part of me that wanted to start fresh.
A part of me who wanted to believe in love feel it, embrace it, and live in it with her.

April

It’s been a week since that incident and I haven’t seen him since then.

Maybe he is just busy with his work.

He is the CEO of the company he definitely has a lot of work to do.

It’s weird but someday ago I would be glad not to see his face and would pray sometime not to face him but within these past two weeks, something has changed.
And I can feel it deep within me.

I keep convincing myself that I just thought of him because I wanted to pay him back the money he paid for me in the hospital which was partially true but there was something else too.

I don’t know if that day he behaved with me nicely because I was not well or out of pity or whatever the reason was a part of me craved that unknown feeling.

Pathetic right?

But at the same time, I was scared.

I was scared to trust a man.

As I was growing up I have never had an ideal male to look up to.

Since the day I realized what those harsh words of my father meant my whole perspective on human beings was flipped upside down, my whole perspective on men was changed.

I always believed that all men are like my father and I still do.

That is one of the major reasons why I have never had a guy friend or a boyfriend.

I was too intimidated by men.

I was scared to be close to them, to talk to them.

I thought they would turn out to be exactly like my father.