My Eyes Adore You

A Day With Dream LA

The boys and you go out on the town for the day. They need more photos for Instagram and you love taking pictures so you happily volunteer to be their photographer for the day.

Each boy wants a different location and a different look to their photos. Which is fine, you used to take photos of your family all the time, but now it's just a random thing you do to pass time when you're bored.

When you're done taking the photos of the boys you send them to each boy and let them do the picking.
"These are lit!" Bryan yells.
"Girl! You got skills!" Dayne says.
"How'd you do that?!" Tristan asks.
"I love them!" Says Tyler.
Chris walks over to you and whispers in your ear. "They're amazing, thank you for doing this for us." And quickly kisses your cheek.

You're beginning to notice Chris is soft with somebody he cares about. And he loves physical contact. He's not clingy but, still loves to be around and touching you. You like it. You feel secure, wanted, protected. Something you haven't felt in a very long time.
He grabs you hand and intertwines his fingers with yours as you guys walk down the sidewalk.

"Hey lets go to the mall." Dayne suggests.
Everybody agrees and you guys start walking.

When you arrive everybody goes their separate ways and you and Chris are left alone.
He gives you a little spin and kisses you.

"What was that for?" You ask him.
"I just- wanted to I guess".
The way he said it makes you want to ask what's really going on in that head of his. His eyes have been sparkling all day, and it's not just because of the shirt either. He's got a glow about his today. He's happy. Genuinely happy. And it's written all over the way he's holding himself.

When you guys get back to the house the boys go put their bags in their room and then come into the kitchen to talk and hangout.
The realization hits then you leave in 2 days and your whole demeanor changes.  He is notices right away and comes up to you.
"Hey, you okay?" He whispers to you trying not to make it obvious.
"Yeah, I'm fine." You say softly.
You don't want to ruin the rest of the time your here by being sad but you can't help the feeling.
"You sure?" He says raising an eyebrow.
"Yeah." You laugh.
"Alright." He says after looking at you for a moment.

The boys are getting ready to go live and you decide to just go snuggle up in Chris's bed. He follows you to the room and as soon as you hit the bed you let out a sigh.
"Are you sure everything's okay?" He asks you.
"Yeah. I'm fine." You say.
"Okay. Well are you going to watch the live?" He asks.
"Yeah." You laugh.
"Downstairs?" He asks.
"No. I'll watch it on my phone though." You say.
"Oh- Okay." He says.
You can tell you not being downstairs made him upset.
"Maybe I'll come down in a bit. I just want to relax for a little bit." You say half smiling.
"Alright." He kisses you quickly and walks out of the room.
When you hear the door close you lay back on the bed. You feel the tears thrusting to leave your eyes but you refuse to let them.
You walk to the corner and find the hoodie Chris was wearing yesterday. You throw it over your head and pull it on. You walk back to the bed and lay your head on the pillow.

How can I tell him about my past and not have him feel sorry for me? How can I open that wound back up and not the emotions bleed out like they have for years before Chris? How could I continue to be the girl I am with him, without him?
All these questions circle your mind like a carnival ride on its tracks, you know that you have to tell Chris what makes you so broken, but will he look at you the same, or will he throw you away like the others have?