#31 Your...um...pants.

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We were alone in the far corner surrounded by nothing but stationary cars, I'm sure he pulled me to the back just to get out of earshot of anybody

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We were alone in the far corner surrounded by nothing but stationary cars, I'm sure he pulled me to the back just to get out of earshot of anybody. Liam looked at me with concern, one hand reached up to rub the back of his neck - a tell tale sign he was nervous. His jaw clenched trying to hold back words.

"Liv..."

I rolled my eyes, here we go. 

He was about to let me down gently, again. He was about to tell me the kiss meant nothing, it was just a bit of fun. I couldn't bare that talk so I held my hand up, gesturing for him to stop.

"Liam I know. I know I have no right to question what you did. I know the kiss meant nothing, I'm not reading into that. I just can't understand physically how you could jump from one girl to the next within the space of 24 hours. 

I suddenly realized I felt sorry for the green cheerleader. She played right into his hands and lost. I watched Liam as my words sunk in. Darkness consumed his face as he tried to push away his inner thoughts leaving him looking helpless.

"Liv... It's just something I have to do." Liam started, voice low. Ashamed. "Sometimes things just get too much for me, it's overwhelming. I get this rush of anger and I need a release so I fuck out my feelings rather than pummel someones face or smash up a bathroom. It's the only way I can regain control." 

He kept his head down, trying not to look at me as I relished in his admission. For once he was being honest, he wasn't avoiding the questions, he wasn't playing things down. No hiding, just straight up honesty. Although I could accept that as an explanation something still disheartened me deep down inside.

"I saw the way you looked at that girl afterwards. You got what you wanted and you lost interest in her. Like she was an object. A toy." 

I waited for him to reply to my unspoken question but he remained mute, only giving information when I actually asked for it outright. The way his body spoke to me let me know he was nervous, and feeling pretty exposed. I knew I couldn't leave things like this without asking the question I so desperately wanted to know the answer to since the diner yesterday.

"The way you treat girls... is that how you think of me? Liam am I just one of you conquests?" I held my breath dreading his reply, now that the question was out there I wasn't so sure I wanted to know the answer. Green eyes caught glimpses of his vulnerability and how he struggled with the emotions he was feeling let alone having the courage to talk about them. After a deep breath the finally opened his mouth.

"Olivia I don't date, I don't do relationships. I use a girl once and then move on. I don't linger long enough for them to get hooked or catch feelings. I've never led a girl on, they know the deal. You knew I was like that too, before you let me kiss you." 

Liam rambled with nervousness and I made no efforts to stop him. 

"That kiss... it was never meant to happen. I'm mad at myself for letting it happen. It was just sorta... in the moment. I don't do that shit, I go up to a girl and ask them if they want to fuck and they usually do. I don't take midnight dips in my underwear and kiss under the milky twilight. That clearly sends the wrong message." 

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