#53 You want kids?

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I was suffocating under a tangle of body parts and the heat from my thick blanket, pushing it off me I glanced over at a sleeping Liam

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I was suffocating under a tangle of body parts and the heat from my thick blanket, pushing it off me I glanced over at a sleeping Liam. He had his back facing towards me but I knew he was asleep thanks to his even breaths and heavy limbs. I loved having Liam sleep in my bed, I loved knowing he was here, safe from all harm. I lent in and inhaled the sweet smell of his chestnut hair, the same smell that lingers on my pillows after he has spent the night. 

My eyes fell onto small circular scars scattered across his shoulder blade, they intrigued my interest because I had never noticed them before. He had several of them and now that I was looking for them I spotted even more, spread out all over his back. They were discrete and only visible when you were up close. I glided my thumb across them gently feeling the bumps under my skin. Liam rolled over to face me with his groggy eyes.

"What did I tell you about touching me when I'm asleep?" he wasn't mad, he looked calm and sleepy. I thought he was maybe even slightly amused so I didn't bother apologizing.

"What are they?" I plucked up the courage to ask, hoping my question wouldn't pull him into the darkness.

"Cigarette burns." his eyes clouded over as he relived a memory and I expected the conversation to end there but to my surprise he carried on. "Things were real bad when I was young, I was just a helpless kid. They would stump their cigarettes out on me, they would throw me in a crate for long hours without food, drink or bathroom breaks just so I wasn't runnin' around the house being loud. The bashing's were harder too because my body could take less." 

Dark pupils threatened to swallow him whole but when I reached out and grabbed his hand some of the darkness subsided and he offered me half a smile. Although something was bugging me about the information he just shared. The word he used to describe Jax was 'they' and I wondered if he was also getting a beating from someone else too.

"They?" I repeated his word slowly and watched as a sad expression overwhelmed him making me wish I hadn't pointed out that I noticed.

"Don't think just because I protect her she's any better than him. She's no angel but she's my mom and I can't help but love her."  

He didn't elaborate anymore than that and I didn't push him to, I knew in his own time he would tell me more about his mom. That was the most sensitive subject to him, the hardest thing to talk about. He has an emotional connection with her unlike with Jax. I get it.

***

We loaded our sleeping bags and overnight bags into the trunk of Jordan's car as well as the bags of alcohol Liam had bought yesterday. I was a little embarrassed riding with Jordan this morning because he knew Liam had spent the night with me and I expected him to fire inappropriate comments our way or ask us questions but to be honest he didn't even acknowledge it.   

"They are doing a locker sweep today so if you've got anything incriminating put it in Zaks locker." Jordan announced looking back at us through his mirror.

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