Ever After

XXXIII. Still tragic

"Anong shade ng tint ang sa tingin mong bagay sa akin?"
"This one. Hindi siya masyadong dark. Bagay sa rosy chicks mo."

"Hey, natapos mo na ba yung kdrama na nirecommend ko sayo?"
"Yup, ang gwapo ng leading man, gurl!
"Gaga, huwag mo akong agawan. Sa akin na'yon."

"Hoy, natapos mo ba ang research paper natin?"
"Sh* t, ngayon na ba ang deadline n'on?"

Those are the normal conversations you can hear in a hallway with bunch of highschool teenagers. I'm one of them back then, but everything have changed as I discovered a whole new world.

"Hey, Eerah. Why so serious? Nakatulala ka na naman sa kawalan," wika ni Cara habang naglalakad kami patungo sa classroom.

"Let me guess. Hindi ka na naman nakamove on sa tragic book na binasa mo, ano? Sino na naman ang namatay? Yung leading man? Yung babae? O yung second lead?"

Napahinto ako sa paglalakad. "The heroine escaped and let her world fall into destruction," wala sa sarili kong sambit.

"Hala, ang pangit naman ng libro na'yon. Tsaka hindi deserve mg heroine maging bida kung ganoon ang gagawin niya. Sino ba author niyan at nang masugod natin."

"Sa tingin mo, hindi tama ang ginawa ng heroine?"

"Oo naman. Maling maling mali! Bakit pa siya naging heroine kung hindi siya magliligtas?"

"Eh paano kung hindi niya naman talaga gustong maging heroine? Wala lang siyang choice? Mali ba na tumakas siya?"

"Teka nga, ang gulo. Ano bang storyline niyan?" Tanong ni Cara habang nakapamewang.

Umiling-iling ako at nagpatuloy sa paglalakad. "Wala, wag mo na lang akong pansinin."

Huminga ako nang malalim bago pumasok sa classroom. Eerah, you're back in your world. Wala ka nang dapat alalahanin. This is where you should be.

The class started but I just can't focus. My mind seems like out of this world. The literal one. And I can't help it.

Nabaling ang tingin ko sa katabi ko. Just like me, she also seems to be out of this world. She's sketching something.

"What are you drawing?"

Gulat naman siyang napatingin sa akin but she immidietly gave me a smile. "Sorcerers, magical things, myths, fantasy. Things like that."

Umusog ako ng kaunti para makita nang malinaw ang iginuhit niya. There is a woman wearing a silver gown with a golden tiara in her hair. There are fishes with feets and mammals with wings. There's also a man holding a wand.

"They are the magical creatures in fairytales," turan ni Pia. Naaalala ko sa kanya si Giselle. She once drew mortals back then.

"Do you believe... they really exist?"

She smiled at me and shook her head. "Nah, they are just myths. Those who were created by a writer's imagination."

Mapait akong napangiti. And just like Giselle and the others, she doesn't believe in it.

Time runs fast. I didn't even notice that we are already having our lunch. I ordered some spaghetti because I'm not in the mood for rice.

"Can I have a seat?"

Napalingon naman ako sa nagsalita. Aries is standing in front of us while holding his lunch. Tumango naman kaming dalawa ni Cara kaya naupo na siya.

"Where's your group? Bakit mag-isa ka lang ngayon?" Usisa ni Cara kay Aries. Ngumiti naman ito dahilan para lumabas ang biloy (dimple) sa kanan niyang pisngi.

"They are there at the side. Gusto ko lang sumabay sa inyo," saad niya at lumingon sa akin. Tinunggo naman ako ni Cara dahilan para muntikang matapon ang iniinom kong juice.

I stared at her with a what's-your-problem look but I just received a malicious smile. So, I roled my eyes.

Noong uwian ay sumabay ulit sa amin si Aries sa paglalakad palabas ng campus. I don't know what he's up to but his presence beside me caught so much attention. And I hate attentions.

Maya-maya ay nagpaalam na si Cara dahil dumating na ang sundo niya while Aries and I waited near the gate.

"Your house is just few blocks away from here. Bakit hindi ka pa umuuwi?" I asked Aries. Nagtext ang service ko kanina na baka raw malate siya ng pagsundo dahil may emergency.

He smiled at me, "I'll wait for you to go home. Mahirap na, marami nang masasamang loob sa panahon ngayon."

"Wag na. Ayos lang ako. I can handle myself," saad ko at pumitas pitas ng mga santan sa gilid.

"Sus, para ka ngang palaka makipaglaban."

Gulat akong napalingon sa kanya. "What did you say?"

He raised both of his hands as if surrendering. "Woah, woah. I didn't mean to offend you. It's a joke. Nakita kasi kita sa pe class niyo na gumagamit ng arnis," natatawa niyang saad.

Huminga ako ng malalim tsaka umupo sa gilid ng kalsada. "I'm not offended. It's just that... I remember someone."

* * *

It's almost six in the evening when I got home. Sinalubong agad ako ni Lola Esme kaya nagmano ako. This day felt so tiring kaya agad akong umakyat sa kwarto.

Pagkabihis ay nahiga agad ako sa kama. This may not as comfy as Victoria's bed but I still prefer this. My room is the safest place for me.

I closed my eyes trying to rest but memories keep flashing back.

"Eerah, know your limits. Do your mission and go back to your world!"
"No, I will fight with them."

"Sa tingin mo, magtatagumpay ang dark organization?"
"No, they will not."

"Gusto mo nang bumalik sa mundo mo, hindi ba?"
"Deal,"

"Eerah, huwag kang tatalon kahit na anong mangyari!"

I decided to open my eyes again because as I close it, all I'm seeing is them. At pilit akong hinahabol ng konsensya ko.

Ethan in his so proud and mischievous smile, Ashley on her charming laugh, Ariel with her hands stained by paint, Giselle with her sketchpad, Aurora in her sweet smile, Flinn in his energetic moves, Eric in his brotherly aura... and Nickolas with his are-you-serious stare whenever I joke around.

I miss them and everything in Everland. I think I can't afford not to see their faces ever again.

Bumangon ako at hinanap ng tingin ang isang bagay. Ever After. The book where everything started.

Nakita ko ito sa ilalim ng study table kaya inabot ko ito. I scanned through the pages. Katulad ng dati, hindi na nakasulat ang mga binasa ko noong gabing iyon. Siguro ay dahil nabago ko na iyon.

But I stopped in the middle pages. Unti unting may lumitaw na mga letra rito. My hands were trembling as I scan through the remaining pages.

Death. Kingdom fall. Blood. Darkness. Damnation.

I don't need to read everything just to understand what's written on it. Napaupo ako sa kama habang tumutulo ang mga luha.

I did change the beginning of the story. I did save some people. But the ending doesn't change at all as I escaped.

It's still the same story with a tragic ending that I've read.

Pinunasan ko ang luha ko at tumayo. I hugged the book as I walked towards the mirror.

Pinagmasdan ko ang sarili sa salamin. Naiintindihan ko na ngayon kung bakit ako napunta sa ibang mundo. Naiintindihan ko na ang lahat.

There's still a way to make it a happy ending.

Pinunasan ko ang mga luhang dumadausdos sa aking pisngi at marahang ngumiti.

And that way is me.