Cursed Fate

Chapter 65- just let me love you

(Y/N) POV:

Spring Break really shows me and constantly reminds me just how much I love my soulmates and keeps giving me reasons to fall further and further for them.

How they all look adorably tousled when they wake up, hair mussed, shirts askew and slowly clamber to their feet- slow movements which allow me to truly appreciate the intimacy of waking up together.

To see that some of them adorably scrunch up their noses when they're confused, the little head-tilt Kookie does when he's thinking, the small audible sound of Yoongi oppa makes when he thinks, the way Jinnie oppa blinks quickly when he's nervous or put on the spot, the way Joonie oppa bounces on the spot in excitement, or how Tae's way of thinking or asking questions never leave me blown away, or Yoongi oppa's constant way of being the pillar of support- always willing to do things that'll let Jin hyung relax a little bit longer, coming home with the grocery shopping done, or listening silently to any of us rant. How Hobi oppa loves dressing up and accessorising but never chooses earrings- saying he wants them to stay innocent or how Minnie loves capturing even the small quite moments with a camera, always capturing the purest, brightest moments through his lens. How Kookie avoids the microwave so always waits for one of us if he needs something to be heated but doesn't hesitate to switch the TV channel without a single second delay when he notices Hobi oppa shudder at the sight of a snake.

This is what I've been looking for, dreaming for my entire life. This bubble of domesticity and closeness and love. Being with them, letting the lens of my memories be filled with snapshot after snapshot with experiences I've shared with them, cataloguing them, and making my heart fonder and fonder and my soul burn brighter for them.

It makes me long and crave for a closeness, where our bodies, hearts and souls merge as one, where we become one, where our physical closeness brings us to a level of intimacy that transcends everything except the sensation of drowning in them, losing myself wholly and intrinsically in everything that makes them...them. Their scent, their touch, their taste and above all...their hearts, which beat for each other, which brought me hope, became that god-sent hand proffered when I was at my lowest and raised me up so I could stand with them, be with them and how mine beats for them.

But unless I try, I'll never know if they reciprocate those feelings, won't know if the desire in the changing room was largely mine and they were simply caught up in the moment.

Won't know if the same desire ignites fire under their skins, marks a similar burning trail like whenever they touch me, makes need and want consume me until it's all I feel, all I ever want.
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I slip out of bed, smiling at the sight of Jinnie oppa still sleeping peacefully even though he shifts for a few moments of unrest- subconsciously recognising the fact that I've moved away before he settles down, face smoothed out again. He looks at peace, calm, arm still outstretched for where he had been cushioning my head on, body still curved towards where I had lain. I lean forward to press a kiss to his forehead, smiling to the way even in his sleep he seems to lean into the touch.

I open his wardrobe to grab one of his shirts, a large white cotton shirt tailored to fit his broad shoulders, and then go into my own room to choose one of the lingerie sets we had bought not so long ago. I dither on the numerous styles, colours, and fabrics- trying to decide which one it is that I should wear.

After a long shower, I towel myself off, pulling on a black lace set, the bra and short panties, leaving barely anything to imagination, the lace highlighting and accentuating my curves- displaying them with a delicate lace design that settles over my back, just under my chest, and skims across the very top of my thighs. Once I pull on Jinnie oppa's shirt, I button it up, leaving a few undone so it gapes slightly at the chest, the shoulder fitting is broad, so the excess fabric exposes my shoulders, leaving the black lacy straps on show, gaping at the back and settling on my thighs. The black set peeks through the whiteness of oppa's shirt, hinting at what I'm wearing underneath.