Metanoia | J.JK

chapter one

j u n g k o o k

I'll be lying if I said my hands aren't shaking, at this moment. I'll be also lying if I said my heart isn't arching so much that I can feel it. I'll be lying again if I said my legs are about to give up.

She just said that she's breaking up with me.

What could've possible gone wrong?

I know... She loves someone else. My girlfriend, now my ex, was using me for money ever since we dated. That means since the third year of high school.

Putting all my money on her clothes and food was a waste of time. I could never ask her to bring back my money, I just don't want filthy money from a slutty gold digger.

"Just get out of my house. You don't need to say all that break up speech," I said, not able to make eye contact with her. Every time I see her, I just fall in love over again.

She simply snickered, crossing her arms. "Fine, give me my son."

Did I forget to say that we have a son? We had him unexpectedly. We were both drunk in a party and I just lost my mind.

"Never, not with a bitch like you. Just get the fuck out, before I smash you face in the wall," I yelled, holding the doorknob and throwing her suitcase in her arms.

"Well, you think you are capable to take care of Jisung while you work at your so called mafia business? Because if you come to me and you-"

I cut her sentence quickly, before anything else happens. I don't even want to talk to her. "I don't even want to see you now and you expect me to see you in 5 years or something? No."

She simply clicked her tongue in annoyance before grasping the handle of the suitcase and marching outside, like she was some type of queen. I slammed the door as hard as I can. I heard her scream, "Fuck you!"

Fuck her...

Dammit! Why does it have to be me? Why does all the bad things happens to me?

I jumped on the couch, as tears started to fill my eyes. My vision was blurry and my head started to ache. I felt like dying. Or maybe killing myself.

I hear a distant cry. Wiping the corners of my eye with my thumb, I pull myself together and went to my son's room. The cry started to grew louder at each step. He has been crying all day.

Was it a sign?

Maybe.

Or not.

I open the door slowly. Jisung was standing with the help of the crib, his eyes bloodshot red and his cheeks flushed. When he saw me, he immediately stops crying and started to giggle.

"Ap.. pa!" Jisung joyfully squealed. It wasn't the first time he spoke. He only knew papa. Not mama, just me. Again, another sign.

I took him in my arms, as I wiped his cheeks with my palm. His eyes started to flutter in sleepiness. I started to pat his back to make him sleep faster. His tiny hands wrapped around my neck and his face snuggled against my neck.

I hugged him tighter, not wanting to let go. I'm going to be a single father. Jisung mustn't know the truth about her, never. I should just cover it with a simple lie.