Fall ✓ p.jm

Chapter 25 : Tired

"J-Jimin," I struggled pronouncing his name. Any ounce of expectation wasn't in my mind. How can he randomly show up here in my house after neglecting me for too long? Without my consent, he slowly entered and looked around.

His eyes darted on the mess in the living room. He acts as if he's some sort of an inspector. "Oh, I'm late. Where's everyone?" That's when my guard fell, his innocent-looking face got me relieved. For a minute there, I thought that he came here to talk about something between us and say unbelievable words to me again.

"They just left," I informed. "Do you want anything? Juice?" I offered and began removing the mess in the living room.

"No, thanks." It was plain silence after that. All I can hear is the sound of the wrappers crumpling in my hand. "Can we just talk?" I rebuild my composure and looked him in the eye.

"About what?" I tried to sound ignorant of what is going on. Moving around the house is my only way to avoid more eye contact. His serious stares can make you shit on your pants and I don't want that to happen to me.

"You know what we're going to talk about." There it goes, his old self was back as a smirk finally appeared on his face.

"Jimin, can we not do this tonight? I'm tired and so are you, let's just do that tomorrow," I said in a serious tone. After I disposed of the trashes outside the garbage drum, I came back inside and saw Jimin comfortably sitting on the couch. Can't he read in between the lines? My previous statement is simply a connotation of the words 'please go home'. 

I seriously can't deal with him right now and I hope he gets the clue that I'm mentally drained as of the moment. But he didn't. "Selestina," He began.

"Don't call me that," I gritted my teeth.

"Selestina," He purposely repeated, annoying the hell out of me even more. Rolling my eyes at him, I stepped upstairs to just ignore him and go on with his life but then a hand grasped me on my arm to stop me.

"What?!" I exclaimed. The mixture of exhaustion, shattered feelings, and inauspicious thoughts overwhelmed me to the point that I have to shout in his face. "I have given you all the time to talk to me back in Sacramento but you never did. Now that I want a break from everything that is keeping me up, you suddenly want to chat?" I scoffed. After my piece, I bit my lower lip to contain my tears from falling down.

"Don't tell me you're giving up on our little game?" He grinned and there I lost it. I snatched my hand away from his touch and glared at him.

"Is this all about that?" My body finally betrayed me when a tear jerked from my left eye. "Jimin, I'm tired already. If you want to ask if you're the winner of that damn stupid game then fine. You won! Now leave me alone." I noticed how his face suddenly falls flat.

"I don't want to," He replied and I shake my head.

"What for? To make me suffer even more? Jimin, I get it! You'll never accept my forgiveness for doing you absolutely wrong before and even I can't forgive myself for it." I sat down on the floor with my body curled up and stared at the wilderness.

"Yes, I don't know how it feels like to be cheated on but I know the guilt from doing it and that's an entirely different story. I wake up every day to realize how stupid I am for letting someone amazing as you go. I ask myself sometimes how did I manage to hurt two people at once and not feel anything about it. I'm stupid and I fucked up real bad."

"I'm glad that you're aware of that," He said. I was trying so hard to suppress my tears and then he said that and I lost control. Nobody would accept a crook like me. Definitely not the man who I mistreated before.

I was just wondering why Ryan got to forgive me without making me feel even worse while the man I truly love and I believe who once felt the same thing to me before has to make me feel less and less each day I'm with him.

"I'm sorry, I can't do this anymore." I sniffed.

"So you're really giving up? That fast?" He huffed. "That's not even half of what you made me feel."

"What's going on here?" The voice was from the front door. Without even looking, I already knew who it is and it's embarrassing that he has to see both of his friends in this state. "Jimin, what's happening?" Yoongi asked once more.

Just like the former, his friend didn't answer. Jimin's focus remained on me and mine is on the floor. Yoongi came running towards me and he helped me get up. "Did he do something to you?" The words itself is offensive to Jimin and it didn't take a second before he also came up with the same thought.

"Now, that sounds like I'm the bad guy," Jimin scoffed. "Seriously, Yoongi? You side with her?"

"I'm not on anyone's side." Yoongi firmly stated. I noticed how Jimin's eyes pierced through Yoongi's hand on my shoulder.

Later on, Jimin faked a laugh which got Yoongi and I puzzled at his sudden act. "Really?" The younger guy asked. "That's not what I see," Jimin's tone makes his statement more mysterious. He made it sound like he's implying something.

"You like her don't you?" Jimin's sudden question caught both of us off guard. I looked at Yoongi but his gaze remained on his friend. His grip on my shoulder tightens and I can see him clenching his jaws.

"Stop this nonsense Jimin or else." Yoongi threatened. I have never seen him like this.

"Or else what?" Jimin pouted, clearly making an attempt to piss the older guy even more. "Yoongi, it's okay. Besides we can always share." He grinned.

"Share?" Yoongi's tone obviously showed that he's confused. "What the hell are you saying, Park?"

"You know what I'm talking about. We did this before. We share women. Once I'm done with her, I can pass her to you. Y'know? Old habits?" Jimin laughed. I wanted to say something but aside from my lips parting, nothing else came out from my mouth. "Besides, I think Elise is okay with that. Right, Elise? It's not like the first time you're going to have two men—"

Yoongi's hand that was once gripping tightly on my shoulder was now gone. Instead, it curled into a strong fist and flew right straight to Jimin's face which cut his statement off.