I Will Be There Once More (Eddie Vedder fanfiction)

10. Hard feelings/Loveless

WARNING: EXTRA LONG CHAPTER (I'm so sorry for this, if you hate long chapters please let me know).

On February 1990 we were about to finish the recording of the EP that was going to contain 8 songs; from November to February seemed like several months just to record a few songs, but we had to write some more, while others were scratched and was also the mixing and the art, among other things.

Andy's band, Mother Love Bone was about to release their debut album called Apple, and we were all excited about it. While Soundgarden was still on tour for supporting their second album Louder Than Love so I hadn't seen the guys in a while and my guys from AIC  were editing their upcoming summer album newly renamed as Facelift. It was a huge moment for all of us, but the best thing was that there was no competition but support between bands.

Since January things with Kurt had been strange. He stopped calling every day when on tour and when I called him he rarely picked up the phone, but also the encounters started to be less frequent, though when I faced him directly about this, he just answered it was "just stress and tiredness" so I brushed off any suspicious thought I had at the moment.

However, certain morning in early March I had spent the night on Kurt's hotel room in Seattle (because he didn't want to stay at my place using the rest of the band as a pretext) and accidentally overheard a conversation he had with Krist.

I woke up and didn't see him on the bed, something very unusual for him to wake up early, so I got up, but before I could leave the bedroom I heard him talking and as I peek through the door that was barely left open, I saw them both with Krist having a worried expression and Kurt with his hands on his head.

I thought he had troubles with drugs, but soon I found out how stupidly genuine I was.

"Then what are you gonna do?"

"I... I don't know. I mean, I love Lily... I really do, I've never fall in love with someone like that"

"But..." Krist added this time.

"But I just can't get Courtney out of my head... and I've only seen her once but I just... I can't, I'm like bewitched" Kurt said, and I just froze.

I felt like if my head was about to explode, but I also felt as if something was breaking inside me. My heart was shattered... he loved me madly on New Year's Eve and now by March he couldn't stop thinking about another woman who I didn't even have idea of who she was or how they met?

"Well then you should be honest with Lily... she's a cool girl and doesn't deserve this"

"I know... I know she doesn't deserve any of this but... there's things that the heart can't hide" Kurt answered.

I returned to the bed and wiped some tears from my face as soon as I started to pack my things in the most calmly way. I had to kept myself strong, because I needed to get out of there as soon as possible but I also didn't want to make a scene. I changed my clothes and waited in the room until Krist left.

I left the bedroom with my backpack and Kurt looked at me weird.

"Lily... where...?"

"Sit down Kurt"

"What-"

"I overheard the conversation you had with Krist" I said, and he just covered her face with a hand

"Shit..." He whispered.

"Don't worry, I'll disappear from your life... but I want to know... Who the hell is Courtney?"