*COMPLETED* Lily is a california girl about to finish college, dealing with constant anxiety and fear caused by the uncertainty of her future and finding a solution when she falls by accident in the grunge scene.
As the re-issue of Only If For a Night was a success, the label was forced to set a date for the release of our first album and it was planned for October 2nd, since the marketing staff told us that they were going to be several releases in August and also September. While still on tour for the EP, we started to give small interviews for some local newspapers and magazines, but nothing really big. I felt weird but funny at the same time, as we were truly enjoying the tour.
Eddie and the guys visited England to mix Ten and by the end of the month they returned to Seattle, where they were our opening act in our last gigs promoting the EP.
Ten saw the light on August 27 of 1991, and though it wasn't an instant success, the following month everything started to take off for them, as the album started to be noticed and their label did an excellent job promoting it. We all celebrated this event, though the guys weren't excited about being famous and they just did the album to go out touring.
On September 24th we celebrated the release of Soundgarden's album Badmotorfinger and the same day was released Nirvana's Nevermind; that was the first time I heard about something related to Kurt again. I've been so busy and focus on my stuff the last two years that I almost forgot about him... but I just thought about him and wish him success in silent.
The day after, on September 25th, Spencer and I started our tour for supporting the upcoming album and as the record label knew about our friendship between us and Pearl Jam and Kelly Curtis was a dear friend of our manager, Alan, they decided to billed them as our opening act in a deal with their label, as this would help them to promote their own album.
We received an offer from the people of Guns N' Roses to be their opening act in their Use Your Illusion Tour and the guys were very excited, but we had to decline because we already had our plan for late September, and to be honest I didn't want to be the opening act for them. Don't get me wrong, I love Guns N' Roses, but I just didn't feel comfortable with their vibe... I've seen them live twice and as much as I loved them, they were too troublemaker without a cause to me, and that's how the task was passed on Soundgarden, who accepted.
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This was my favourite tour of all my life, it was fun to share this new adventure with my closest friends and my boyfriend, who happened to be the opening band; we were young and on fire, and so we were having the greatest time of our lives. I would spend special moments with Eddie, walking holding hands without hiding, giving some advice to some fans, signing things, posing for some photos, pulling pranks, having small reunions with weed, cigarettes and alcohol until sunrise, meeting new places that we never imagined but enjoying this as the big family that we were.
"I never imagine I'll be doing this stuff with my favourite person" Eddie said to me as he sat on the floor leaning over a tree.
I sat with him in the grass, leaning my back and head on his chest as his legs were spread around me, and he crossed his arms in my chest, hugging me and just enjoying the view of the almost red and coffee landscape announcing the fall.
"I never imagined it either... but it's pretty cool, isn't it?" I answered smiling and looking up to him.
I met those blue eyes with the charming smile looking down at me as he just kissed me.
We attended the RIP magazine party and was one of the first gigs all of us -including AIC- were there, as well as an interview with the fourth of us for MTV at the after party. The event was excellent and we received an award from hands of the great Ozzy Osbourne.
Then, on October 2nd, Between Two Lungs, our first album, was finally released, and a few days later it was released our first single As Far as I Could Get along with the video, which had a dark art aesthetic and was filmed in 35 mm, suitable for the dark lyrics about dealing with depression; for being someone terrible in front of any camera, I did my best and surprisingly the result was beautiful. The video world premiered on MTV two days later and thanks to the popularity of it, the channel started to aired it almost at any hour, something that helped it to peak at number 4 in the billboard 100, surpassing even the hit Smells Like Teen Spirit of Nirvana.
And that's when everything blew up in my face, and suddenly we started to be featured in big magazines, billed for more dates, the label asking for more music videos, a new larger fanbase, letters, gifts, photo shoots, congratulations, interviews, appointments in TV shows and I just felt that any day everything will go through my fingers with all the pressure, but thanks to my friends and Eddie I could control everything gracefully and instead of worrying and stressing I started to enjoy a little bit of this new life.
In mid-November, while we were signing albums for our fans in a local record store in Seattle after an acoustic set, Alan gave us the news that a Rolling Stone photo shoot was going to happen in late November or Early December, but only with me on it, because this was a photo shoot with the frontmen of the moment.
The guys understood with any resentment and told me to represent the band with pride; Alan talked to me about it to convinced me and I ended up accepting, so he communicated with the editor to confirm my participation. The issue was going to be called "The frontmen and frontwoman of a generation" and also Chris, Layne Eddie and Kurt were going to be feature because all of us were going to be in the cover.
Eddie was still on tour with Pearl Jam to promote their album, but we would talk every day on the telephone, and that day he told me about how weird this photo shoot sounded but that Kelly obligated him to be in.
Two days later, Alan communicated us that we were billed to perform at the Cow Palace in Daly City, California on New Year's Day and that we were going to perform along with Pearl Jam, Red Hot Chilli Peppers and Nirvana. I was happy because I could spend New Year with my friends and Eddie, and also because the RHCP were fond friends of mine... but the encounter with Kurt made me feel nervous, since it has been almost two years I haven't seen him and basically didn't know anything about his life, but most importantly, I didn't know if he was just going to ignore me or if I was going to be capable of greeting him only for mere politeness.
Everything was so cool but so complicated at the same time, and the two upcoming events (The Rolling Stone photo shoot and the gig) didn't make it any easier, but as the mature woman I was slowly transforming into, I decided to let things just flow.
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