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C34: ☆Pillar Meeting☆

Two updates because it's been a week. I was too frustrated on how I was going to write Nao's diary and the Pillar's meeting but well, I somehow managed.

Ooh, you have no idea how excited I was to post this. I have so many things I want to say but I'll just leave it all for you guys to judge this chapter.

:> Enjoy☆

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Nao's diary was very thin if one were to look at it but the words inside the pages, the messages and feelings that were written in ink were overflowing with emotions.

And Kagaya couldn't help but read them over and over again, just to see, where he could have possibly gone wrong, just to realize if his actions could have been justified. Just to find a single clue to what could have happened to Nao all those years they were apart and he knows it's wrong to invade someone's diary but this was Nao's diary..

It was a step closer towards her and he just couldn't not open and not read it.

And to think that Nao's diary was this powerful, her most private thoughts that were suddenly revealed to him, as if he was actually seeing Nao, as if, she was here telling him all of this because all these time....

All these years, Nao has only ever thought of him every passing day and he hasn't even read the whole diary yet, only a handful of pages.

But they were enough to make him lean over and cough violently as his eyes squinted, his chest tightening uncontrollably as his eyes blurred so abruptly he barely had time to realize his own emotions at the moment.

He shook his head and willed his body to calm down because this, this was something he needed to do, something he needed to discover for himself while his eyes can still see.

This was a step closer towards Nao.

So he patiently read all the pages with a blank disposition, memorizing the lines over and over in his head as he familiarized himself with Nao's very elegant and sophisticated handwriting that was unique only to her.

And Kagaya doesn't even want to linger at the pages were the words, the ink were smudge as if they got wet by something. He really didn't want to linger on those pages because then they would make the words inside them more real and more powerful.

Yet stupidly, his fingers would trace the smudges and linger for minutes. He would pause reading just to look at those particular smudged letters. Then a beat or so, or what seemed like minutes but hours, he would turn the next page, still reluctant and read on.

The process would repeat itself.

And after reading everything, he did not have the strength to close it yet and set it aside.

It seemed as if Nao was there, infront of him, and just as if to hurt himself more, he would close his eyes and pretend that Nao was really there, telling him all of this as if she was never gone.

'Kagaya-onii-sama,  you know..'

Amane's stern cough would wake him up and bring him back to reality. She would look at him, and in a way that she knows best, would frown and give Kagaya a meaningful look that conveyed everything that needed to be said without opening her mouth.

A sad and bitter smile would cross his face and he would reluctantly part with the diary but not before lingering on the last page for one last time before finally resting and succumbing to sleep.