Hang In There// P.P.

Chapter 11: Fix You.

I stood outside the door for a good ten minutes before deciding to knock. For some reason I was panicking, breaking into a cold sweat as I stood in anticipation on the other side of the wall. Why was I here? Because something Tony said stuck with me.

'Not everything you lose is permanently gone.'

Aunt May answering the door pulled me back to reality.

"Sophie, Oh my Lord, I heard about everything, please come in."

I entered the apartment with less joy than I ever did. Nothing had changed much in the month that I wasn't here. The next thing I know Aunt May had me wrapped in her arms.

"I'm so gald you're okay, Sof."

I hugged the woman back, appreciating her affection.

"I don't know what Pete would have done if he lost you too."

I seen her eyes flicker over to the picture of Uncle Ben sitting on the small coffee table. I knew what she was thinking and took her hand in mine, squeezing it slightly.

"Not everything you lose is permanently gone."

I looked at her.

"Ben lives on through you and Pete. Once you live your life, Ben will live his."

I gave her a sad smile before letting go of her hand.

"Sof?"

The sound of Peter's voice brought me back to the harsh reality of why I was here. I gave Aunt May a look before leaving her side and taking Peter by the hand, leading him to his room.

I closed the door behind me, leaving us in an awkward silence.

"Why are you here, Sof?"

"I can't do this."

"Do what, Sof?"

I looked at him, tears already building up.

"I can't keep going on like this, it's slowly tearing me apart."

Peter didn't move a muscle.

"I told you I didn't want to be in your life, Sof."

"But have even thought for one second how much that fucking kills me inside. That the one person you thought would stick by you just leaves."

"It's a small price to pay if it means you're safe."

"Are you serious?!"

The tears were starting to fall at this stage, anger and sadness mixing together.

"You think pushing me away is going to protect me?!"

"You always get hurt because of me! If I'm not around then you'll be safe!"

I looked at him through blurry tears, my chest heaving up and down as my heart pounded against it.

"That's where you're wrong-"

"I'm right, Sof."

"You're wrong! 'Cause the one time you weren't around... I got hurt the most."

He looked at me confused, furrowing his eyebrows.

"I got hurt because you weren't there to protect me."

I let the hot tears glide down my face as I stared at the brunet boy before me. Confusion spread across his face.

"The day MJ and I went into the city centre...... Something happened on the way home."

I took a deep, shaky breath before continuing.

"We were followed by these..... Guys. They grabbed us and dragged us into an alleyway. I managed to get MJ free to go get help.... But I paid the price. There was four guys, the one wearing the blue shirt, em........ He forced himself ontop of me. Spider-Man was nowhere to be seen. And I know you can't be everywhere but-"

There was silence as the tears silently rolled down Peter's rosy cheeks. We just stared at each other, not knowing what to say.

"That night I needed Spider-Man."

He lowered his head in shame.

"But right now........"

I paused.

"Right now, I need Peter Parker. I need you, Pete. I've tried dealing with this alone but I can't. I'm not strong enough to fight through all of this. I can't cope with the pain anymore, it just hurts so bad. And I don't know what I'm gonna do if I don't figure this out. I'm plunging deeper and deeper into the black abyss and I can't stop myself from falling. "

I wiped away the tears with my sleeves only for them to be replaced with freshly shed ones.

" I'm broken, Pete. I don't even recognise myself anymore. I'm just so damaged and torn into a million tiny little pieces and I don't know how to put it back together."

He started walking towards me, tears spilling from his eyes.

"I'm so sorry."

He wrapped his arms around me, enveloping me in a shield of protection. I dug my face into his chest as I cried, letting all the pain and hurt out. I held on so tightly for the fear of letting go. In that moment, I felt the safest I'd felt in a long time. Even Harry couldn't make me feel as safe as I did in Peter's arms.

He pulled back, cupping my tear stained face with his warm hands, his eyes darting back and forth over my face.

"I promise, that I will never let anyone hurt you."

He wiped away a stray tear with his thumb.

"I should have been there, I should have been there to keep you safe and I failed, unfortunately you paid the price for it. I'm not gonna let it happen again. I know you're broken and I know you're in a million different pieces right now but if I have to travel every inch of the Earth to put you back together then I will, I dont care how long it takes."

He pulled me into his chest once again before continuing.

" I will fix you. "

We spent the rest of that evening lying on Peter's bed, his arms wrapped around me as we lay there, thinking about all the shitty things in the world. Slowly the room turned from the orange colour of the sunset to the twinkling colour of the stars. We just lay there and for the first time in forever, I felt safe as I fell asleep in the arms of Peter Parker.