Hang In There// P.P.

Chapter 40: There's Worse Ways To Go.

I watched quietly as Nebula and Tony player paper football on the ship.

"Wrra!"

Nebula, frustrated, put her hands in a fighting stance while looking at Tony.

"You don't need to do that. Because uh... you're just holding position."

Nebula flicked a paper football towards Tony.

"Oh yeah, that was close."

Nebula once again flicked a paper football towards Tony.

"That's a goal. We're now one apiece."

They played another game, Tony flopping the last ball to give Nebula the win, which he congratulated her for before asking if she had fun, to which she replied 'yes'.
We had scattered across the ship, all of us needing our own time to think, to grieve, to accept. It was twenty-ish days since Thanos had used the Stones to wipe out half the Earth's population. It had been twenty-ish days of being stuck in space with no way back home. I made my way to the front of the ship, the large glass window allowing the blue hue of the galaxy illuminate the darkness around us. However, I stopped when I saw Tony's hand reach forward to turn on his helmet. The weight of the recent events were evident in Tony's posture. He tapped the helmet with a sigh.

"This thing on?"

The helmet scanned Tony as he leaned against the wall while taking deep breaths. He looked skinnier and weak with malnutrition.

"Hey, Miss Potts... Pep. If you find this recording, don't post it on social media. It's gonna be a real tear-jerker. I don't know if you're ever going to see these. I don't even know if you're... if you're still... Oh god, I hope so. Today is day 21, uh 22. You know, if it wasn't for the existential terror of staring into a void of space, I'd say I'm feeling better today. The infection's run its course, Thanks to the blue meanie back there."

He looked at Nebula sitting in the back of the Benatar.

"You'd love her. Very practical. Only a tiny bit sadistic. Some fuel cells were cracked during battle, but we figured out a way to reverse the ion charge to buy ourselves about 48 hours of time. But it's now dead in the water. We're 1000 light years from the nearest 7-11. Oxygen will run out tomorrow. And that'll be it. And Pep, I ... I know I said no more surprises, but I was really hoping to pull off one last one. But it looks like... well you know what it looks like. Don't feel bad about this. I mean, if you grovel for a couple of weeks, and then move on with enormous guilt. I should probably lie down. Please know that... when I drift off, I will think about you. Because it's always you."

With that, Tony turned the helmet off. He rubbed his thumb over the left eye, as he sat there, defeated. I walked over to the mentor, taking a seat down beside him. There were moments of silence as we stared ahead at the beauty before us.

"There's worse ways to go." I said as I looked over to meet Tony's gaze.

"For a kid, you're pretty mature with all this stuff."

"Had to grow up real fast, Mr. Stark, it wasn't a matter if I wanted to or not. I guess now, it payed off."

There was another moments silence.

"You know, even after everything that has happened, I wouldn't change a thing about it."

He looked at me oddly, a questioning look on his face.

"Everything that happened has brought me to where I am now, and while it's a shit situation it's something I'm in. I could mope about it and about everything I've lost, but why should I focus my last few hours on the bad things when there was so many good things too. I lost people at a young age but I also gained so many people too. I met MJ and Ned, I met you and the Avengers, even the crazy Guardians of the Galaxy, I met Pete. You know, I've done what I needed to do, and this is how my story ends."

I paused as I looked back at the galaxy once again.

"They will find a way to bring them back. I know they will. It just kills me to think that......... we won't be there when they do."

Silence again.

"What's that?" Tony asked, referring to the watch that I held tightly in my hand.

"The night Pete's uncle died he gave me this, and he said to me to give it to Peter when the time was right. I spent too much time waiting for that right moment, that now he'll never get it. I failed both of them."

He placed a hand on my shoulder.

"There was no way we could have predicted this was the way it was gonna end up."

"If I had just held him under for a few more seconds, Peter would have had that gauntlet off, but I didn't and now he's gone because of it. I've failed Aunt May 'cause not only had she lost her husband she's lost her nephew too, and I'm not even there to help her through this. I was suppose to protect him, Mr. Stark, you gave me the order to keep him safe and I fucked it up."

"There was nothing you could have done to prevent what happened. As much as you like to blame yourself for everything, it wasn't your fault. Thanos was strong, more powerful than any of us. Peter wouldn't want you to be blaming yourself for this, for what happened. And as for this-"

Tony pointed at the watch in my hand.

"You never found the right moment because it hasn't come yet."

I was about to reply when a vast bluish nebula illuminated the space surrounding us. There was a light on our faces, which grew brighter and brighter. We squinted our eyes at the light source, which was slowly revealed to be Carol Danvers; Captain Marvel.

__________________________________

I could feel the landing gears deploy as we touched down. The entry hatch opened, and Tony, Nebula and I walked out, I had Tony's arm slung over my shoulder as we did so. Steve ran to Tony to help him stand up. He gripped Steve's arm as he joins him.

"Couldn't stop him."

"Neither could I."

"I lost the kid."

"Tony, we lost."