UNEXPECTED | lkr

THIRTY

My chest heaved up and down, panting as the music fades away. We stayed in our ending position for a few more seconds before we all stood up and bowed.

Arriving at the waiting area where we could see our results, I felt quite nervous.

"You did great, (Y/N)." Theia smiled at me as I slowly nodded. I was quite confident earlier but now I feel like shit. I mean, at least the performance's over... right?

I bit my lip as I felt my heart beat faster at the result I saw on the screen. One of my groupmates received fifty votes, which was a lot already. I was genuinely surprised at the amount of votes we had. We had a thirty-five votes gap with the other team so I was a little confident.

I predicted that I'd either get first place, or if it's possible, second, which is highly unlikely. I figured out that a lot of my fans watch the show and support me.

My mouth formed an 'o' shape as I see my name displayed on the screen, under the fourth place label, getting fifty-four votes, just four votes being the gap with the trainee in fifth place.

I pursed my lips as my teammates immediately comforted me, saying that I was their best center and all.

I didn't really expect it... Did I expect too much? I felt disappointed. Not in my fans, but in myself. I lacked something, even though I did my best. I worked really hard, I really did.

I breathed out, shaking my head as I tried to prevent myself from looking too disappointed. My other groupmate got second, getting ninety votes. It was left with Theia, who's votes were not revealed.

Again, I felt nervous. I was scared, noticing how the other team had catched up and we only had a little vote gap. It was up to Theia. Yennis also won first place in their group.

I felt my heart beat faster each second that passes as I balled my hands into fists, my fingernails digging in my skin. I wanted to win. I already felt humiliated since I expected so much in the start. I shut my eyes closed, hoping and wishing that we would be able to win, even by a small margin.

"(Y/N), we won." I felt a hand on top of mine, fluttering my eyes open to see that we actually did won. "We... did?" I felt all the burden slide off my shoulders as I let out a breathe I didn't know I was holding. I bent down, covering my face as I felt bad.

"It's all thanks to you, (Y/N)." I felt guilty when they said that. I shook my head, denying it. Even if we won, I felt empty.

"(Y/N), we need to speak to you." My head jolted up as I heard my name being called. I made eye contact with my groupmates as they all ushered me to go to the staff.

The staff said to detach the microphone from my clothes, so I did, handing it to the staff. It seemed really important, making me feel nervous. I thought back to the things I did. I did nothing bad... Unless... Ah, did they find out?! I'm doomed.

I rubbed my temples as I trudged over, trailing behind the staff. I went inside the meeting room, a few more staff inside, with the director and producer.

"(Y/N), is this real?" Curious, I approached the producer who was rereading something. "What is it...?" I mumbled, the producer handing me the tablet. My eyes went wide, seeing the headline of the article.

"(Y/N) (L/N), trainee from survival show, Youth With You 2, rumored to be forcing a trainee to be her girlfriend..." I trailed off, feeling sick. Why was this happening? I shake my head as I felt my knees go weak. My legs collapsed as I landed on the cold floor. My face turned pale as cold sweat dribbles down my face.

"I... didn't... no.." I backed off, feeling all the bad flashbacks from my past rush back to my memories. Serim, the name I despised so much... It all came back to my head.

They all looked at me, worried. "(Y/N)-"

"Don't h-hurt me please," I mumbled, arms in front of my face in defense. "We won't, (Y/N)..." The producer crouched in front of me, holding out her hands for me. "S-Serim, don't hurt me..." I saw her face morph into Serim's, making me panic. Tears flowed down my face as terror filled me. I was scared for my life. I thought that the abuse would come back and haunt me.

"(Y/N), baby, I'm here." Hearing the familiar voice, my eyes shot open as I looked up, seeing her face that calmed me down. Her hands cup my face as she smiles at me.

I blinked a few times, seeing her face fade away. I stayed silent, realizing that it was just a hallucination.

"You're fine, (Y/N)." I slowly removed my hands from my eyes. Realizing what I have done, I breathed out, immediately standing up to bow, only for me to collapse again and fall to the floor.

"I'm sorry..." I wiped my tears, looking away with a sullen look.

"Let's talk again once you've calmed down."

《》

"Can't you just deny it and just let them delete it?" I ask, fiddling with my fingers. "We could've already done that even if it was real or not,"

"Then what's the problem?" I cross my arms, confused with the current situation.

The director sighs, "The one who sent out the article said that if we deny it or if we delete the article," I raised my eyebrow, wondering what kind of threat it is.

"They'll expose your relationship with that trainee."

"What?" I furrowed my eyebrows, not believing what the director just said. "They didn't say who the trainee is, but they had a photo. They sent it to us and had the trainee's face blurred."

He passed me the photo, and when I saw it, my eyes widened. It was indeed me and Keran. But they didn't know that. Only the one who took it does. It was that one time where she waited for me outside the dorm and kissed my forehead. It was evening and we didn't really see anyone around. Turns out there really was someone.

"It's... real." I mumbled, placing the photo down on the table. I stayed silent for a while, processing what just happened. Was this the reason why I only got a few votes?

"So you're saying... If I admit to the article... The trainee's identity would be kept safe?" I ask, referring to Keran. They nodded, making me grit my teeth.

"And if I deny it, they'll instead reveal our relationship...?" They nodded again as I sighed, closing my eyes.

As much as I know, same gender relationships aren't really supported here in China. As a matter of fact, they actually despise them.

I don't want to ruin Keran's reputation.

But I also don't want to be seen as an abusive person, just like how that bastard was.

I pursed my lips, thinking about it for a moment.

"I- I'll..." I let out a sigh.

If I were to choose between going down with the love of my life or going down alone but ten times worse, I'd rather fall alone.

"I'll admit to the article."

《》

a/n

hi:)

hope u liked the chapter!! i felt like something was missing tho🥴 i'll try to edit it if i can:')

btw i already reached 30 chapters?!? wtf i never wrote a book this long😭 i either lose interest or get lazy bUT I GET SO MOTIVATED WRITING FOR KERAN WHY