Beginning of Love (GirlxGirl)

Chapter 37

AN: Unedited.

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"Ma'am? Ma'am wake up." I opened my eyes to a nurse shaking me awake, as I looked around, I was in the waiting room, knocked out on a chair.

And then, the thought of Lou hit me like a sledgehammer.

"Where is she? Is she ok? Can I see her yet?" I jumped in my seat as I spoke frantically next to her face, she looked at me and and tried to calm me down with some hand gestures.

"Ms. Bains? You can see Ms. James now." I heard a male voice say behind the nurse as I looked behind her and at calm doctor, which made my anxious heart sigh in relief.

"Thank you." I said as I walked past them, And into the pale white room, as I walked in seeing her body connected to two machines, one had an IV in it, and the other was to monitor her heart beats.

"Oh my god." I walked to her side, sliding one of the chairs with me and sat down, carefully taking her hand in mine and resting them both in the bed.

Her eyes were closed, her chest raising up and down slowly and steadily, as her lips were puckered up a bit. I smiled at the sight, I never knew why I ever let her go. It was so wrong to do it. If I had just listened to her, this wouldn't have happened. God I'm an idiot.

I felt my emotions build, as I tried the absolute hardest not to cry because every time I cry, everything hurts. I just can't anymore with this, heartache. It wrenches my heart so hard to know that I caused this. It was my fault.

I put my forehead on her hand, as silent tears began dropping from my eyes, and onto our hands.

"I'm so sorry, I'm so damn sorry, Lou." I cried silently into her hand as I lightly kissed it. Caressing the back of her hand with my thumb, as I cried. Such a sad scene, but the thing is, it hurts. Bad.  Really bad.

"I can't do that anymore. I can't keep finding a reason to purposely push people out of my life, Lou. Not after what I did to you." I said as my tears stopped as I sniffled.

"You know... I never told you this but... the reason why my mom is so protective of me, is because she didn't feel protected when she was with my dad." I started as if she could hear me.

"My dad... was cruel. He used to beat her every night, and I had to hear every scream, every yell, every 'please stop' that came from her. My dad was always a sweetheart when he was sober, but you wouldn't want to see him when he's drunk." I lifted my head a bit as I propped my elbow on the bed and rested my head against it, now looking at her face.

"I've been so traumatised, that I couldn't have a normal relationship, always flinching and avoiding questions I didn't want to answer, but... I never did that with you. I never once though of you hurting me in any possible way." I spoke sadly as I kissed her hand.

"There's something I didn't tell you about when I was with Justin... he... hit me twice. During our relationship because he claimed I wasn't satisfying his needs... so one night he dragged me to a club, and umm.." I stuttered as I gulped at what I was gonna say next. And I hoped to god she wasn't awake.

"He made me sit through, him having sex with someone that was good enough, that satisfied him enough, and it was... disgusting to watch. I should've been mad, angry, hell, jealous. But I wasn't and I was actually taking notes." I looked down from her, now red face as I twiddled with her fingers.

"He really did that?" I heard an angelic voice say from the top of the bed.

I looked up and into Lou's furious eyes, as my eyes widened, I quickly stood up and leaned down, crashing my lips to hers and held her face between my hands gently. Her hands tangled themselves in my hair, pulling me closer. The kiss was happy and sad at the same time, knowing Lou, she would do something about what I just told her.