𝐂𝐫𝐲𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐒𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐘𝐨𝐮 • 𝐊𝐒𝐉

||||20. Sunshine||||

You leaned on the window as lights and cars whizzed past you in a blur. A lot of thoughts whizzed in your head, making it hurt. 

You had just left Seokjin's house, and took the bus back home. After answering Hyoki's phonecall and assuring her that you were fine, you fell into a deep trance.

You tried to focus on the various things that your mind was constantly playing. There were so many gaps in them, so many loopholes and it was even more confusing as to how, you never really paid attention to these.

Why did you consider that things were happening to you just for the sake of them happening at all?

A lot of events in your past and such abrupt commencements and endings. But nothing hurt more than knowing what you now knew.

Kim Seokjin.

You tried to picture the rude and arrogant man, who from the very beginning, was ruthlessly cruel with you.

But he wasn't, was he?

He was trying to make you brave to face the things that you were avoiding. He was trying to help and be there for you.

And were you there for him?

You close your eyes shut as a tear gently trickles down. You remember how Seokjin hugged himself after saying those words. How he kept looking down to avoid your gaze. How he disregarded your attempts to comfort him.

"I'm married. Isn't that a reason to draw the line?"

His sharp words hurt you but were not strong enough to make you leave.

"So what? I'm not leaving you like this."

You shudder when you recollect the devilish grin that had crept on his face.

"You're afraid if I'll do something."

The words churned your stomach as you were left tongue tied.

"Don't worry, Y/N. You can safely go home. I won't kill myself for I've learnt to make this despair a part of me."

You remember how much you wanted to cry, and hug him. You remember the urge you suddenly had to whisper into his ears, that he was not alone. You remember how you wanted to look at his eyes and tell him that everything would eventually be fine. But then, you remembered his words.

"How do you become the hope and light of someone, when you're breaking from the inside yourself?"

And all your courage disappeared into the blue.

You had to run away. Again.

You made sure Seokjin was comfortable, that all his necessities were quite within his reach. You rummaged for his phone and while handing it to him, you whispered with a certain conviction, "If you need any help, I'll be here."

Your heart tore apart as you saw his beautiful brown eyes moisten. He mustered a brave smile and replied that he would. 

Just when you were about to leave, Seokjin's phone rang.

And your world suddenly stopped. You had heard that tune somewhere. Somewhere.

But where...

"Ah, sorry," Jin replied, a flustered look on his face. "That was my reminder to call my wife. She won't recognise me after all."

You wanted to ask him about that music, that tune, the familiarity, but two words stopped you.

My wife.

You shrugged bluntly and rushed out of the house. Talking anymore felt useless, no matter how much his eyes told quite the contrary.