Baby Kick | J.JK [Editing]

Ep-10: Blue Pea

Something warm was felt. The twittering of birds could be heard. Soft sun rays were felt on the skin too.

What does it mean? Am I alive?  Or I am in heaven ,or what?

I felt a little rumple upon my eyelid. It needed to be opened, so I did that slowly. As I looked over, sun lights rushed into my pupil, slowly I could set my vision. I saw the window being opened, birds flying and weather wasn't that rough as last night. Of course, the room was felt so familiar.

It means I am still alive?

I moved my sight from there and suddenly it locked at the lamp table beside the bed. The same photo frame! With our picture!!

How this thing can be here? I bought it last night for Gguk!

 Meanwhile I felt a lite weight on my waist, a comfortable warmness. I slightly moved a bit and got startled to see his face. He wasn't sleeping but closed his eyes. My throat started to dry up, eyes poured with tears and heart filled with satisfaction .I knew he would come back. I knew...

As I moved, it knocked his conscious. He opened his eyes with a sudden and found me closer to him, deeply staring at him. Though his hand was still on me, but he bowed down to escape my gaze. Few moments went with silence. I was gonna say something, but before that he grabbed me against his chest with a sudden.

My body was trembling in his embrace, with his familiar smell, with his illusive leash, which used to bind me with him. I felt him sniffing my hairs a bit, patting there and kissing on my forehead. 

Me: Gguk !

I whispered. But he didn't reply.

Me: Why did you come back? You didn't want me, right? Why didn't you let me die?

He slowly cupped my cheeks and joined his forehead with mine. His eyes were closed and surrounding was wet. A drop of tear just left from there, rolled over his cheeks and followed it until it reached to my skin. 

Jk: I am-

He inhaled.

Jk: I am not quotable to say sorry! I am NOT! I was gonna-...I-

He couldn't speak.

Me: I ain't mad at you, Gguk. I know you were enough broken, you were messed. So that you lost you conscious. You didn't do anything intentionally.

Though I said that but the scene of him slapping on my face, drinking like a mess kept appearing in my mind. I tried to erase them so badly. 

Jk: Still you are saying that, Koushi? Still? Your this softness hurting me even more, destroying me with guilt. I can't just-

How can I say Koushi? I did everything intentionally! 

Me: I wonder, how this freaking messed boy realize everything-

Jk: No! If Minho wasn't there, I would really lose you then! He...he made me realize...

All he said were like: 

" After you left that room, I felt a beast in me. A beast of guilt. I kept hurting myself to feel pain. You know, when you hurt yourself, and adjust your mental pain and physical pain, it brings you peace, it mitigates. But my mental pain wasn't decreasing even after I completely ruined my hand. I vomited for taking a lots of alcohol. Still my mind was bumping about you. I got out from the room and saw lots of chocolates on floor. It might fall down from your hand. The thing caught my eyes was the photo frame, which you bought for me. Those were making me feel more guilty. I wanted to see you so badly, apologize so badly. But alas! I freaking made you leave! I was so devastated that I was gonna do that again! I went to my lab room to find potassium cyanide. But suddenly, Minho appeared in front of me. He said,