Maybe tomorrow

Chapter 30

Graham then suddenly stopped at an empty, sordid park bench and looked around for the first time while I pressed myself against a thick old tree that was so large that there was no way anyone would see me. Or so I hoped.
 

I leaned forward a little and peered at Graham. I had recognized his face immediately. He looked so similar to his brother and father, except for his face expression and his bruised eye. I hadn’t noticed it before, or maybe my brain had tricked me into thinking it was just a shadow, for the bruise was almost black.
 
I forgot about my plan and wanted to step forward, but I didn’t have the chance to speak up because another man had arrived from the other end of the clearing and he angrily brushed a few leaves of his shirt.
He didn’t wear a hood and I could see his face, but he didn’t look familiar to me. He was tall but still shorter than Graham, and he had tanned skin but all of it except his face was covered in tattoos.
He was bald but he couldn’t have been older than 30 and his lips were pressed into a thin line, and then he purposely moved his arm to lift his shirt up so everyone around him could see the gun in his holster.
I covered my mouth with my hand to stop myself from shrieking.
Everything about this man basically screamed trouble and I would have turned to run away if I had trusted them to carry me further than a few feet.
 
What in the world did Graham have to do with this guy? And who was this other guy man that he carried a gun in New York in broad daylight in the Central Park with so many tourists here?
The answer was easy. A criminal, maybe a terrorist, a fraud, a bank robber, a gang member, or… someone who worked for the Mafia.
 
My heart was beating fast inside my chest while I looked back to the road. The road was at least another 100 yards from here and I doubted anyone would hear me scream because there were barely any people in this part of the park and the thudding noises of the honking cars and their loud engines would drown out most of it anyway.
But surely it wouldn’t be loud enough to drown out the sound of a gunshot, right?
No person could be stupid enough to use a gun here in the Central Park on a Sunday morning. But that didn’t help to calm my nerves.
 
The man pulled his shirt back down casually and then smiled- It wasn’t a friendly smile. In fact, it made him seem even scarier.
“Hey, new kid. What the hell is this? When I told you, you could choose where to meet up, I didn’t think you would choose a tourist attraction. But I mean, why not, right? Maybe we should meet at the Times Square next time. Or maybe the Grand Central Station? Or even better: The NYPD?”
He sounded provoking but at the same time his voice was oddly cold and calm.
 
Graham, unlike me, didn’t seem one bit intimidated by him and just shrugged casually.
“It’s maybe a little less suspicious than a dark alleyway in the middle of the night.”
 
“Whatever, kid. Just tell me what the hell went wrong on Friday. It was supposed to be an easy deal. You were supposed go in, deliver the goods, get the money, and then get the hell out of there. Instead we lost the goods and the money, and they want compensation because you thrashed two of their men. What. The. Hell. Happened?”
For the first time I could see Graham’s body tensing.
 
“It was not my fault.”
The other man laughed. “I don’t know you, new kid, and I don’t know in what kind of white snob community you grew up in, but here it doesn’t matter whose fault it was. What matters is power, money and the goods. And you lost all of that.
Out there you represent us. You made us seem weak. We can’t have others thinking that they will get away with stealing our goods.”
 
Graham gritted his teeth but didn’t argue with the man.
“Don’t ask me why, I would have kicked you out a long time ago, but the boss is giving you another chance. Next Friday. Same place, same time. And you better be on time.”
 
I was biting lip so hard; I could taste the iron flavored blood in my mouth. My heart was pounding so loud against my chest, I was afraid they could hear it.
My gaze was still fixed on the bold man who suddenly turned around and stared directly into my direction. I quickly pulled back and pressed myself against the tree again.
 
For a second I thought he might have seen me, and I didn’t even dare to breathe but then I heard his black boots rustling on the forest floor as he turned back around.
I slowly exhaled and closed my eyes in relieve.
 
“See you around, new kid.”
Graham didn’t reply and I waited until the sound of the heavy steps of the bold man had died away and the only remaining sound was the rustling of the wind in the trees. Only then I dared to take a gander and to my surprised Graham hadn’t moved one bit.
 
He stood still but his firsts were clenched, and his eyes fixed on the ground.
My thoughts were racing.
What had just happened? And for the first time I also realized that Clary was probably waiting for me upstairs. How long had I been gone? 20 minutes, maybe?
 
My knees felt weak when I finally found the courage to step forward. Graham was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t hear me until I was only 5 yards from him.
 
“Graham?”, I asked carefully.
Speaking his name out loud felt weird after what I had just witnessed. Graham spun around, his arms lifted to defend himself but when he saw me, he dropped them and his entire face paled.
“What are you doing here?”, he asked nervously and took a step forward. Despite my best efforts I couldn’t suppress the fear and almost simultaneously I took a step back.
“Who was that man?”
My voice trembled and now that the adrenaline and shock were ceasing, I just felt confused and scared. But this was Graham. He wouldn’t hurt me, would he?
 
“Did you follow me here?”, Graham asked back, avoiding my question.
“No, I mean …yes. I saw you coming here. I just wanted to talk to you but then this man came and- Graham, who is he? He had a weapon!”, I cried out hysterically and took another step back.
 
“Allison, wait. I promise I won’t hurt you. But what were you thinking! If he would have seen you… You could have gotten both of us into really big trouble!”
 
“Me? No, Graham. What were you thinking? I mean, look at you! What happened? And do you have to do with men like him anyway? Your family has been scared to death because of you for the last few days!”
I was somewhere between screaming and crying.
 
“Ally, just calm down.”
“I won’t calm down unless you tell me what happened? Who was this man and where the hell have you been the past few days? Don’t you know what you put your family through whenever you just disappear like this?”
 
This time it was on him to get mad but at the same time I could see the pain in his expression.
“Of course, I know that. But I can’t just stop. And I don’t want to either. What I do with my life is nobody’s business. Least of all yours.”
 
“Graham, I am just trying to help you!”
“I don’t need your help!”, he yelled back in desperation but this time I didn’t even flinch.
 
“Give me the answers to my questions or I will tell your family about everything I just saw.”
Graham stared at me for a few seconds before his shoulders dropped.
 
“I will tell you the truth. But only under one condition.”
The piercing look of his bright blue eyes was determined and after a few seconds I nodded carefully.
 
“Fine. What would that be?”
“You have to promise that you won’t tell anyone about this. Not Clary, nor my nor your parents, not your friends and least of all Damien. Just nobody. Promise?”
 
He stretched out a hand and I hesitated. Less than a week ago Damien and I had promised each other to honest with each other from now on. Still, I slowly nodded my head, even though the feeling of unease spread through my body.
 
“I promise.” The words tasted like poison on my tongue, but my curiosity had won already, and I tried to push my guilty consciousness aside even though Damien’s face kept reappearing inside my head.
 
“But you have to promise me something too.”
Graham raised an eyebrow.
 
“Right after this you have to come with me to your parents apartment. Just tell them we met outside and that you were already on your way in. Tell them you went to a party on Friday, had a fight with some guy, got knocked out and spent the weekend at your friend’s house. But please… Don’t put your family through this any longer.”
 
Graham grinned a little, but it was still full of pain and sorrow. He looked just as miserable as I felt.
“That might work. Good idea.”
 
Out of reflex I wanted to say thank you but then I realized that being a good liar really wasn’t an amiable quality and I bit my lip again. I gulped, then I sat down on the old park bench and waited for Graham to sit down next to me.
 
“To be honest, I am not sure whether you want to know the truth.”, he said, after he had sat down. I wasn’t sure either but now it was too late to change my mind.
 
“It can’t be that bad.”, I tried to joke but Graham just knitted his eyebrows and sighed. Slowly he laid back.
“I work for Talia’s father.”
 
I was absolutely speechless. Was he insane?
“Please tell me that this is a joke. You can’t be serious!”, I shrieked in disbelief and Graham pressed his hand against my mouth.
“If you intend on keeping your promise you should really tune down your voice a little, Ally.”
Coming from him, my nickname almost sounded like an insult.
 
I quickly scooted back from him but when I started speaking again, I lowered my voice.
“Why?”, I asked finally and even though it was only a single word, it was incredibly hard to say it out loud. It felt like I was finally admitting to myself that Graham might actually be telling the truth.
But this was nonsense.
 
“Why would you do that? These people… They are a danger to you and your family. Because of them Damien was forced to be with Talia against his will!”, I argued and faster than my eyes could cope with, Graham jumped on his feet and spun around.
 
“Of course, poor Damien! Stop talking about my family as if you know them because you don’t know anything. And you don’t know anything about Talia either.”
 
And then it was obvious. Now it all made sense.
Finally.
“You are in love with her.”
My voice was a lot calmer than I was feeling.
Graham flinched and all of the sudden the anger in his facial expression was gone. He crumpled on the bench like a marionette whose threads had been cut.
 
Now it all made sense. Or most of it at least.
Now I understood why he didn’t want to talk to Damien or why he didn’t want to go to the gala. He didn’t want to have to see the girl he loved with his brother.
 
“Graham I am so sorry.”
There really wasn’t anything I could say.
I didn’t even know what was more surprising to me: that nobody in his family ever noticed anything, or that someone could actually genuinely be in love with Talia.
 
“It started about half a year ago. My family and Talia went to a trip to Greece. To our dad and Damien, it was just a business trip and Clary only came because she wanted to go shopping. And Talia came because of Damien, obviously.
Mom, dad, and Damien went to a meeting some people and Clary went shopping. I didn’t want to go and neither did Talia because she wasn’t feeling well. We more or less spent the entire day together and before that I never really liked her but… Believe whatever you want to, but she is really amazing, once you get to know her.”
 
Somehow I doubted that, but I didn’t dare to contradict him.
“But of course, she only had eyes for Damien. Because he always gets everything, whether he wants it or not. He was always the perfect one. He was the smart one with the good grades and I was the one who got put on suspension twice a semester. He is charming and funny when he wants to be but once it gets down to business he is cold and calculating. He always got every girl that he wanted…”, he paused for a second, then he lifted his gaze and stared at me.
 
“At least every girl except you. He wouldn’t even look at any other girls for another 2 months after whatever happened between you at that stupid party. But now that doesn’t matter anymore because in the end he got you anyway.”
He sounded bitter and I couldn’t blame him.
But enough was enough.
 
“Graham, I understand that you are upset but Damien doesn’t own me. Or anyone for that matter. And Damien isn’t perfect, we both know that. And I know you don’t want to hear it, but don’t you think if Damien had had only the slightest idea that you were in love with Talia, he would have broken up with her? He is your brother!”
 
Graham started massaging his temples.
“He is way too selfish. He only ever sees what he wants to see.”
“That is not true, and you know that!”
Graham laughed loudly.
But it was an ugly, harsh laugh.
 
“What do you know, Allison? You were one night stand, one of many I might add, don’t you think I know my brother better than you do?”
 
His words hurt me, but I pressed my lips together to stop myself from crying. He was right though. I basically only knew Damien for a few weeks.
And most of that time didn’t even count because he was being a jackass and had refused to talk to me properly.
 
“Fine. But why did you start working for her father? What is the point? You have been risking your life by doing so. I mean look at you.”
 
Graham snorted but his voice was weak and tired.
“I thought that if I impressed her and her father she would notice me too. And if I earn the respect of her father, maybe he will convince her to marry me instead. Not Damien. But it was all for nothing anyway.”
 
“Why?”, I asked carefully, and he laughed again drily.
“Talia doesn’t even know what I am doing. It is probably better that way anyway. She would have run to Damien and told him everything. For her I am like a little brother.
And now that I messed up this delivery her father will never respect me that way I need him to. But I was just trying to defend her…”
 
“Talia, you mean?”, I asked confused and he nodded.
“The men I met up with were disgusting. Everyone knows that Talia and Damien broke up. They kept going on about how they wouldn’t mind taking her instead of Damien.
That the daughter of the boss would be a nice trophy. And those were the nicest things they said. They just made me so unbelievably mad. I just couldn’t control myself.”
 
I didn’t know what to say.
That was horrible. I didn’t know what I would have done if it had been me, but I couldn’t blame Graham for taking actions.
And now that I thought about it, I could understand most of his other actions too. Yes, most of them were irrational and stupid but I wasn’t necessarily proud of some of the things I had done either.
 
Maybe Graham and I weren’t so different after all.
I sat down beside him and grabbed his limp hands.
 
“It’s going to be fine. But Graham, you can’t ignore Damien forever. He is your brother. You should talk to him and Talia.”
“I can’t… I just can’t.”
 
His stubbornness upset me but deep down I understood why he didn’t want to tell them.

“Just promise me that you at least try to be a little more open towards Damien. I don’t think you know how much you have hurt him by ignoring him.”, I pleaded, and he looked up again.
 
“You can’t be serious. I doubt this faces him one bit.”
“Are you crazy? Believe me, maybe he doesn’t let it show it in front of you but this just as hard on him as it is on you. So please, just talk to him.”
I stood up and pulled him up with me.
 
Without even thinking about it I pulled Graham into a tight hug. He hesitated for a second but then he wrapped his arms around me as well and we just stood there for a few seconds. I didn’t know Graham that well, but one thing was for sure.

His life was just as messed up as mine and that gave me some comfort.
But there was still the voice in the back of my head that warned me from keeping Graham’s promise.
 
But I would deal with that later.