BEING YOURS

CHAPTER EIGHT

If he knew how following her up to her room that day would turn out, by Allah he'd have stayed back.

But what Allah has written is inevitable and he was destined to be shattered ineffably that day.

He came into her crying by the foot of her bed. The sight broke him and he knelt before her, held her hands.

"Amira,"

"Just leave me alone Ali!" She plucked herself away from him.

"Hear me out_"

"About what?! You came to see how much you've hurt me well you have so leave!"

He clenched his jaw at her boutade and let out a shaky breath. "You're getting me all wrong Amira."

"I don't wanna get you right! Get out of my room!"

"Look I'm trying to apologise."

"There's no use! It'll change nothing! Just buzz off!"

He stayed there, looking at her transfixed.

"Why don't you..." She paused, let out a mirthless chuckle after some moments and looked around her room. "Yeah, of course, how could I forget. This is your room too right?"

His brows pulled together in a frown.

"It's a part of your big house so it's yours. How can I order you around in it? I don't have any right around here, who am I even?"

"Can you stop talking like that? Why'd you say such things?"

"If it were my room, in my house, you'd have left when I asked you to or am I wrong?"

"You are Amira. You are."

She scrubbed her face and went on her feet.

"No, I'm right. I'm absolutely right." Her eyes followed his as he also went up. "You didn't marry me in the first place, you've never ever even accepted me. Not even as a friend. I mean nothing to you Ali. I'm just the stupid foolish blind fucker your father forced you to wed. Your brother's lave. I only know how to jump from one man to another. Trading my honour for money. All I want is money, a big car, a mighty house. To live in luxury. I could trade my life for that. Isn't that not what I've always been to you?!"

He brought his palms to his face and travelled up to his head, then laced them at his nape. "Stop this Amira."

"I don't know what I was thinking when I even came back with you. What did you use on me to make me do that?! How could I come back to the very man who sent me out of his house? Who never misses a chance to censure and torture me? Who tells me to my face that I'm the worst thing that has ever happened to him? Who blames me for everything going wrong in his life? Whose only wish is to wake up and find me gone forever? A man who never eats my food thinking I'll try to poison him. A man who kept me away from him thinking I'll try to seduce him. A man who only showers me with his money because that's the only thing I could ever need. A man who grabs every opportunity to tell me how worthless I am_"

"Amira,"

"I'm not who you think of me Ali." She cut him short. "I don't need you to live, I don't need you to be happy, or safe, or contended. You've never done anything commendable for me Ali. The only thing was caring when my brother had an accident and I'm grateful you showed your concern but after that what more? A prostitute? A snob? I'm all grateful for that.

"I wonder why I hadn't left you the very first time you gave me the chance to. You knew you had me so you played with it because you thought no matter how much you insulted me, or beat me, or send me away, you knew you'll always get your scapegoat back. You knew very well that I'll still be brought back to you. To beat and molest over and over. But no, I won't let you have that pleasure, I owned myself before you had me, and I'll forever do. I can never cower to a man who carries all his mistakes and wears them like a crown. Who stands tall on the ashes aof everything he's burnt down."