Finding Her Happiness

Chapter 11:

I stand out of my chair, and I feel a tug on my hand.

"Where are you going?"

"I have to talk to her."

"What do you mean? She'll get over it. She just doesn't like you."

"She doesn't like me for a good reason. And she's right. I understand what she feels, at least I think I do. I want to know how I can help."

"I'm not letting you do that. What if she hurts you?"

"Eli, she's your sister. She's not gonna hurt me, she can't hurt a fly. Natalie's angry, and she needs to get her anger out."

"Not on you, she's not."

"Natalie needs to tell me what she's feeling. It's the only way that this anger is going to go away. I'm not a baby. It might be my pet name, but I'm a sixteen year old. Your sister is right, so I'm not asking permission to go talk to her."

I tug my hand away from Eli's and follow the path that Natalie had stomped away down. I knock on her bedroom door, but when I don't get an answer, I lean my head against the door. I don't hear anything, so I knock again. As I thought it would happen, there's no answer, so I open the door. Natalie is nowhere to be seen, and I head out into the backyard. And there she is.

"Can I sit?"

"No."

"Alright. I can stand."

Natalie groans and keeps pulling grass out of the lawn.

"Can you tell me what you are feeling?"

"I'm fucking pissed that you are here. I don't care about you. And you need to go."

"Why do you feel that way? What did I do to make you feel anger towards me?"

"You come into my home, acting like you own this place. Taking my brother away from me. Taking my sister away. Taking my parents away. Everyone cares about you, and talks about you, but what about everyone else? What about me? Does no one care about me?"

My mouth drops open in surprise. My heart splits into more than a thousand pieces as I look at the crying girl in the grass. I try not to choke on my own tears as I find something to say.

"I'm so sorry I made you feel that way. I know how that feels, and I can't believe I did that to you. I never, ever wanted to hurt you like that. If I know anything, it's that...your family loves you more than they could ever love me or care for me. I don't want to take your family away from you, and I should never have hurt you."

"You can sit."

I sit on the grass next to Natalie, and I reach up to help her brush her tears away.

"Look, you don't have to like me. If I was you, I probably wouldn't like me either. I just want you to know that whether or not you like me, I'm here for you. Your family is here for you. I don't you well, but I care for you, and so-"

"Does my family."

"Yeah. You are a lovely girl. If you don't feel cared for at all in your entire life, I hope that one day you decide to communicate that. I'll leave you alone now."

"No, please don't go. I don't want to be alone."

I criss cross my legs, and Natalie climbs into my lap.

"You're a smart girl, Natalie."

"Where did that come from?"

"No idea."

We sit in silence for a few more minutes before Eli calls our names. We both groan that we have to get up, and we giggle as we walk inside the house. Natalie's hand breaks away from mine as she runs into Richard's arms. I smile at the two of them, Eli taking my hand.

"Are you both okay now?"

"We're getting there, though we have to talk. You can't treat me like that again. I don't need you to baby me more than I already baby myself. I think you're great, but I'll let you know when I need help or...you know."

"Yeah. I hear you."

"So, please. When I know I need to do something, I'm going to do it. It would be better for the both of us if you don't try to stop me. I'm not asking for your permission to do anything. You're not my father, and I don't even ask my father for permission. I know I have DPD, but I don't want to be super dependent. I'm dependent like half the time, I want to drop that to thirty percent of the time."

"Okay, I understand. And I'll make sure I try."

I give Eli a small kiss as a thank you before looking at the time.

"It's six thirty. I'm gonna go get ready."

"Oh, I should too. It might be a little chilly, so I would wear pants."

"Alright, thank you."

I skip away to my room and throw on a quick outfit. I put on black skinny jeans, a beige-ish sweater, a black belt, and white sneakers. It's simple, cozy, and warm. I don't think Eli wants me to impress anyone, so I'm happy with what I'm wearing. I just hope he is.