~ Possible spoiler for Season 7 ~
TW // Mentions of depression and Suicide
You were seated at the round table when Hotch told the team the news. Emily was back. After seven months of heartbreak. 213 days of tears. 5110 hours of wishing it were you on that table instead of her.
"I'm so sorry" She said as she stood at the door. Everybody gets up to hug her, but you sit still. You are frozen in your seat trying to convince yourself that she isn't just a ghost.
After the whole team has given her a hug, their attention goes over to you. You cautiously stand up and stare Emily in the eyes. Those big brown eyes that you prayed you could get lost in again. She takes a step forward, and you match that with a step back.
"(Y/N)..." Hearing the tone of her voice suddenly fills you with anger. That same voice that used to whisper your name as you drifted off to sleep. That same voice that reassured you whenever you were down. That same voice that haunted you for months and kept you awake in your nightmares.
"No! No you don't get to just pop back up like this, you don't get to do that."
"(Y/N), come on don't be like that" Morgan says as he moves closer to you. You turn your attention to him as your glare shoots daggers into him.
"Fuck you Morgan, fuck you for taking her side." You turn and look at Hotch and JJ, "And you know what fuck you two too. I came to both of you, I told you about my depression, I told you about my nightmares. JJ you were the first person I called after my attempt. And you just let me suffer and mourn. How dare you." You push past her and the rest of your team and storm out of the room, out of the building, and straight into your car where you broke down in sobs.
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Emily and JJ both start to follow you out of the door, but Hotch stops them.
"Guys, it's understandable that she is going to take this whole thing a lot harder than everybody else. She needs some space right now, and we really need to get back to this case." Everybody kind of nods and mumbles in agreement.
"Ok, Morgan Reid, you guys head down to the crime scene, Rossi, you and I will talk to the deputies about what they know, and JJ you and Prentiss could head down to the coroner's office and see if she has anything. Meanwhile if (Y/N) contacts anybody, let me know." After everybody is assigned their duties they get to work.
JJ and Emily get in the Jeep and start to head to the coroner's office. The silence is thick as JJ grips the steering wheel so tight her knuckles are stark white, and Emily stares out of the window. Emily is the first one to break it.
"She really did that?" Her voice is barely above a whisper and she doesn't elaborate any more but JJ automatically knows what she is referring to.
"Uh yeah," JJ clears her throat and continues, "After you "died" she started having really bad nightmares which turned into sleepless nights which led to depression. One night she called me crying and apologizing, saying how she didn't deserve to be the one alive. Things got pretty bad and she had to be hospitalized." JJ took her eyes off of the road and glanced over at Emily who was still looking out of the window a faint shine of fresh tears now in her eyes.
"She'll never forgive me," Emily says as the first of many tears streamed down her face, "She needed me, and I was gone."
"It's like Hotch said, she just needs time."
And you definitely took your time.
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